If you've seen the mirthless chav-baiting video for "I Wanna Baby" which, seven years since Vicky Pollard, fails on every conceivable level, you've already got Funny Times' number.
It's all very well David Miliband quitting front-bench politics to spend more time with his family, but where does that leave the London Symphony Orchestra? Without one of their second violinists, that's where. Louise Shackelton, aka Mrs Miliband, is a professional violinist with the LSO but hasn't been spotted performing much recently. Naturally, she wasn't on stage for the opening concert of the season, conducted by Valery Gergiev, two weeks ago as it clashed with the fateful Labour Party conference in Manchester. Might she make it back for this Sunday's concert? "She is not playing at the moment," a spokesman at LSO tells me. Oh. At least when she does return to work, her husband might have a little more space in his diary to show his support. Are they expecting him any time soon? "From time to time David Miliband attends concerts of his choice." Jolly good – though he may want to avoid the Baghdad movement of Rimsky-Korsakov's Scheherazade on 15 December.
John Hurt has been nominated for a TV Bafta for reprising the role of Quentin Crisp - 34 years after he received the award for playing the flamboyant gay writer in The Naked Civil Servant.
Ad-libbed shows are taking over the schedules – and they did pretty well at the British Comedy Awards, too. Victoria Richards reports