Too much for a lady in super-Poppins mode

Sharply dressed know-all makes Virginia an offer to refuse

We crowd round the winner. 'Any advice for bald people out there?'

DICKIE FANTASTIC on the schmooze

With all the wig in the world

Neil Simon's Chapter Two is not a patch on Woody Allen's Annie Hall.

LETTER:Overcoming wig and pen ideology

From Mr Austin Mitchell, MP

LETTER: Keeping the heat under his hat

From Mr Owen Surridge

women and men: splitting sides in the sex war

Q: How many men does it take to wallpaper a room? A: One, if you slice him thinly. Rampant sexism, or biting wit? Aminatta Forna on the rise of anti-male humour

the market: changes on the high street

Twenty-five per cent of men will cross dress at some time, and eight per cent do so regularly. Now the shopkeepers are cashing in

REVIEW:Pop Alanis Morissette Subterrania, London

The story goes that Madonna's debut gig in London was snubbed by most of the journalists who now claim to have been in attendance. So let me get in here quick: I was at the first British show of the 20-year- old Canadian singer Alanis Morissette last week. The connection isn't entirely spurious - Morissette has been signed up by the Queen of Pop for her record label, Maverick. And she, too, is fast gaining notoriety more for her provocative nature than her music: the risque lyrics to her song "You Oughta Know" - "Is she perverted like me?/ Would she go down on you in a theatre?" - precede her everywhere, not least when she feels like taking in a show.

Theatre / FAUST - RSC, Stratford

Viewed from an orthodox Christian point of view, Goethe's Faust is a drama which takes two plays, six-and-a-half hours and a great deal of fidgeting around the cosmos in order to arrive at the wrong conclusion. Howard Brenton's new version, staged now by Michael Bogdanov in the Swan, makes a pointed if slightly laboured joke about this, teasing us with a retributive false-ending.

theatre : Love for Love, Hampstead

REVIEWS Paul Taylor on a stylistically challenged revival of Congreve

It's the Ministry of silly sundries

Roger is a civil servant at the Ministry of Sundries, where he is known behind his back as the Permanent Private Under-Achiever. The Ministry of Sundries is the ministry that deals with everything that other ministries balk at dealing with, like handing out knighthoods in return for party funds. Roger has just offered a knighthood to wealthy businessman Damian Conyers. Conyers has refused it. Roger is baffled. So is the Minister. NOW READ ON.

A comedy of bedside manners

THEATRE The Relapse The Swan, Stratford

An advocate for the consumer

Paul Boateng, Labour's legal affairs spokesman, says he will take on lawyers for the sake of greater access to justice. But can he deliver? Stephen Ward met him

BOOKS: Angel delights

THE WIG MY FATHER WORE by Anne Enright, Cape £15.99

Ladies in waiting : MODERN TIMES

Despite what appearances might suggest, these bald, big-bosomed, cudgel-bearing figures are not queueing to board tram 16121. They are, rather, clay statues of Sarasvati, the Hindu goddess of learning and arts, and are quietly drying off in the Calcutta smog while they wait for their hands, which, like other finicky components, are made separately and added later.
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Tim Vine has won the funniest joke award at the Edinburgh Festival 2014
peopleTim Vine, winner of the Funniest Joke of the Fringe award, has nigh-on 200 in his act. So how are they conceived?
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Jamie and Emily Pharro discovering their friend's prank
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Taylor Swift crawls through the legs of twerking dancers in her 'Shake It Off' music video
musicEarl Sweatshirt thinks so
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Our resilience to stress is to a large extent determined by our genes
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sportBesiktas 0 Arsenal 0: Champions League qualifying first-leg match ends in stalemate in Istanbul
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Pornography is more accessible - and harder to avoid - than ever
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The eyes have it: Kate Bush
musicKate Bush asks fans not to take photos at London gigs
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Day In a Page

Burgundy, the River Rhone & Provence – MS Swiss Corona - seven nights from £999pp
Lake Maggiore, Orta and the Matterhorn – seven nights from £899pp
Sicily – seven nights from £939pp
Pompeii, Capri and the Bay of Naples - seven nights from £799pp
Istanbul Ephesus & Troy – six nights from £859pp
Mary Rose – two nights from £319pp
Ferguson: In the heartlands of America, a descent into madness

A descent into madness in America's heartlands

David Usborne arrived in Ferguson, Missouri to be greeted by a scene more redolent of Gaza and Afghanistan
BBC’s filming of raid at Sir Cliff’s home ‘may be result of corruption’

BBC faces corruption allegation over its Sir Cliff police raid coverage

Reporter’s relationship with police under scrutiny as DG is summoned by MPs to explain extensive live broadcast of swoop on singer’s home
Lauded therapist Harley Mille still in limbo as battle to stay in Britain drags on

Lauded therapist still in limbo as battle to stay in Britain drags on

Australian Harley Miller is as frustrated by court delays as she is with the idiosyncrasies of immigration law
Lewis Fry Richardson's weather forecasts changed the world. But could his predictions of war do the same?

Lewis Fry Richardson's weather forecasts changed the world...

But could his predictions of war do the same?
Kate Bush asks fans not to take photos at her London gigs: 'I want to have contact with the audience, not iPhones'

'I want to have contact with the audience, not iPhones'

Kate Bush asks fans not to take photos at her London gigs
Under-35s have rated gardening in their top five favourite leisure activities, but why?

Young at hort

Under-35s have rated gardening in their top five favourite leisure activities. But why are so many people are swapping sweaty clubs for leafy shrubs?
Tim Vine, winner of the Funniest Joke of the Fringe award: 'making a quip as funny as possible is an art'

Beyond a joke

Tim Vine, winner of the Funniest Joke of the Fringe award, has nigh-on 200 in his act. So how are they conceived?
The late Peter O'Toole shines in 'Katherine of Alexandria' despite illness

The late Peter O'Toole shines in 'Katherine of Alexandria' despite illness

Sadly though, the Lawrence of Arabia star is not around to lend his own critique
Wicken Fen in Cambridgeshire: The joy of camping in a wetland nature reserve and sleeping under the stars

A wild night out

Wicken Fen in Cambridgeshire offers a rare chance to camp in a wetland nature reserve
Comic Sans for Cancer exhibition: It’s the font that’s openly ridiculed for its jaunty style, but figures of fun have their fans

Comic Sans for Cancer exhibition

It’s the font that’s openly ridiculed for its jaunty style, but figures of fun have their fans
Besiktas vs Arsenal: Five things we learnt from the Champions League first-leg tie

Besiktas vs Arsenal

Five things we learnt from the Champions League first-leg tie
Rory McIlroy a smash hit on the US talk show circuit

Rory McIlroy a smash hit on the US talk show circuit

As the Northern Irishman prepares for the Barclays, he finds time to appear on TV in the States, where he’s now such a global superstar that he needs no introduction
Boy racer Max Verstappen stays relaxed over step up to Formula One

Boy racer Max Verstappen stays relaxed over step up to F1

The 16-year-old will become the sport’s youngest-ever driver when he makes his debut for Toro Rosso next season
Fear brings the enemies of Isis together at last

Fear brings the enemies of Isis together at last

But belated attempts to unite will be to no avail if the Sunni caliphate remains strong in Syria, says Patrick Cockburn
Charlie Gilmour: 'I wondered if I would end up killing myself in jail'

Charlie Gilmour: 'I wondered if I'd end up killing myself in jail'

Following last week's report on prison suicides, the former inmate asks how much progress we have made in the 50 years since the abolition of capital punishment