Bloody Christmas

Have yourself a merry anti-Christmas with the darkest and most bloodthirsty show since the Spencerene gave off that unearthly glow on Panorama. Haze's Circus of Horrors stars Doktor Haze, an undead 21st-century ringmaster, who plays out his perverted post-apocalyptic desires with the help of a lewd, violent rabble comprising such unique individuals as The Tanzanian Voodoo King with his troupe of pygmy flesh-eaters, the lovely Mortisia, mistress of the sword and dagger, and a 150-year-old fakir from Morocco, The Human Impaler. It all builds up to a rather succulent climax with the catalyst of Doktor Haze's own devilishly loud live rock soundtrack. Direction comes at the hands of Pierrot Bidon, maker of Archaos, the legendary show that brought circus into the heavy-metal age, and Haze's Circus has been doing the rounds recently to sell-out crowds at student gigs and the Glastonbury festival. The good Doktor Haze communicates across the ether to explain. "I do actually drink blood, so I am a vampire," he rasps encouragingly. "But a monogamous one. You can't be too careful." And, er, is this a family show? "Kids do love it," he whispers. "What we say is: in the afternoon, bring your kids, and we'll tone it down. In the evening you'll get the full raw, raucous, raunchy experience. That's what they do in Las Vegas, you know." There you are: something for everyone. Such an accommodating vampire.

STEVEN POOLE

The Parade, Crystal Palace, London SE19 (0836 222232/0181-776 8200) Thur 21 Dec-Sun 7 Jan, 4pm (not 21, 22 Dec, 4, 5 Jan), 8pm Thur-Sat (not 28, 29 Dec), no shows 25 Dec; pounds 9/pounds 7 concs