The novel cure: Literary prescriptions for too much fame

Ailment: Fame, too little

Cure: The Autograph Man by Zadie Smith

If you hanker after fame, you'll almost certainly end up making yourself miserable. Forever on the outside, looking longingly in, you're probably only half aware of what's actually going on in your life, so intent are you on the more marvellous existence of others. Alex-Li Tandem, the hero of Zadie Smith's second novel, is one such worshipper: a boy whose passion for collecting autographs turns into an obsession, and then a career. But after years of hunting down the sweat and scrawl of the famous and infamous, he discovers that his own life is where the real interest lies.

It all starts, aged 14, when he nets Giant Haystacks's autograph after watching the 1981 fight against Big Daddy. Soon he's amassed a collection that ranges from Einstein's to Clark Gable's. But there is one prize he has yet to attain – the elusive signature of the movie star Kitty Alexander.

Then, one glorious day, Alex finds a piece of paper with the film star's signature scrawled across it pinned to his bedroom door. His friends accuse him of having faked it. And because of the acid he took the night before, he's not entirely sure they're not wrong. Blinded by adulation and hope, he abandons his girlfriend Esther to her heart operation and heads to Manhattan to get an answer from Kitty herself.

As we can see from this hilarious and honest novel, fame does not just unbalance the candle, but he who prostrates himself in front of the candle, too. Kitty turns out to be flawed, of course – though also gracious and kind; and fame-hags will enjoy Alex-Li's promotion from fan to friend, for it is the stuff of dreams. But we only see this side of her once the mystique of her fame has exploded. Prepare, with Alex-Li, to have your rose-tinted spectacles removed. Fame may give off light, but it's not what warms the heart or tickles the toes.

'The Novel Cure, An A-Z of Literary Remedies' (Canongate, £17.99); thenovelcure.com