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Blackbird: Mark Kermode fans in hysterics as critic rants about ‘one of the worst films I’ve ever seen’

Critic’s review is being highlighted as one of his funniest ever

Jacob Stolworthy
Saturday 03 September 2022 12:43 BST
Blackbird trailer

Mark Kermode has delivered a film review for the history books.

The critic shared his review of new release Blackbird, which is a passion project by Lord of the Dance creator Michael Flatley.

Flatley writes, directs and stars in the film, which he has described as “a tribute to the golden age of cinema”. However, according to Kermode: “I think a session on the golden toilet of cinema is closer.”

The film, which Kermode called “mind-bendingly terrible”, follows a retired secret agent whose past comes back to haunt him after he opens a nightclub in Barbados.

Reviews of the film have branded it “fabulously bad” and “oddly entertaining” – but Kermode has gone out on a limb to call Blackbird “genuinely one of the worst films I have ever seen”, telling his followers: “And as we all know, I’ve seen Oversexed Rugsuckers From Mars, I’ve seen Exorcist II: The Heretic, I’ve seen Sex Lives of the Potato Men.”

Reviewing the film on podcast Kermode and Mayo's Take, Kermode said: “It’s not just bad – it’s eye-wateringly awful. There are scenes in this that Tommy Wiseau, who made The Room, would have said, ‘I’m sorry, that’s actually not up to snuff – we’re going to have to take that out.’”

The Room is widely considered to be one of the worst films of all time.

Kermode continued: “This is not cinema; this is something so staggeringly self-regarding. I’ve seen a lot of very bad performances, but this is in a stratosphere of his own.”

Kermode then told Mayo the film is not even “worth seeing for a laugh”.

The critic’s listeners are calling his latest rant one of his greatest ever.

“The film's existence is worth it just for the sake of this review, it's everything I hoped it could be,” one fan said.

Another added: “From the moment I first saw this trailer, I couldn’t wait for a Kermodian rant about it.”

Mark Kermode reviewing ‘Blackbird' on ‘Kermode and Mayo’s Take’ (YouTube)

One listener said the review is “gonna go in a highlight reel of Kermode’s top hatchet jobs, alongside Sex and the City 2 etc.” They added: “ I was looking forward to seeing this review from Mark and was not disappointed.”

Another of this week’s film releases that’s getting torn to shreds is a brand new comedy titled Me Time, which has caused Kevin Hart and Mark Wahlberg to break an extremely unwanted career record on aggregate site Rotten Tomatoes.

Earlier this year, Kermode’s listeners rushed to see the panned disaster film Moonfall purely due to the critic tearing it to pieces.

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