"It's nice to know that my family is safe for life, especially when we are going into a recession."
Marjorie Londine, William Hague's aunt, who has just won the National Lottery
"I do not go to see the girls. I am very fond of Peter, and sometimes I talk to the dancers about computers."
Terry Major-Ball, explaining his visits to Peter Stringfellow's night- club
"God is in Spaghetti Junction as much as
anywhere else."
Archdeacon John Barton, Birmingham Cathedral
"The actor I feel really close to is Charlie Chaplin, because I am on the same wavelength as him."
George Carey, Archbishop of Canterbury
"I can't believe Alun Michael is the Secretary of State for Wales. It's a triumph for mediocrity. I should know: he lives five doors from me."
Marc Cranfield-Adams, explaining why he has rejoined the Tories after defecting in 1995
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