Love Island: Explaining why the ITV2 show has become a 'thing' to a cynic

Two of our staff had the water cooler conversation so you don't have to

(ITV2)

Here follows a conversation between a Love Island convert and a bewildered colleague.

Jack Shepherd: OK, so, what the hell is Love Island?

Christopher Hooton: This isn't as easy to answer as you might think. It's essentially Big Brother, with contestants being slowly voted out of a house (in this case, a Mallorcan villa) by the public and the last pair standing winning £50,000 - only the road to victory is paved with Machiavellian gossiping and condom wrappers. Ostensibly, the ITV2 show is about finding love, but going far in it seems to require successfully walking the tightrope of being honourable without being boring.

I should also note it's quite meta in the sense that the rules don't at all matter and are changed at the producers' whim. It's a complex beast, Jack.

Right. I’m kinda with you. From the outside, it just looks like dozens of swole lads trying to out-alpha male each other in order to "bang". And if I wanted to see that I could just go to Infernos.

True, and wouldn't it be great/sociologically interesting if they televised Infernos?! Not dissimilar to that Fried Chicken Shop show. I guess the appeal is kind of 'people watching' but within this really odd, shiny ITV2 artifice. I swear I've learned more about human beings and how they interact and treat each other from Love Island than a lot of recent scripted shows. I'm plundering the depths of humanity here. This is important research.

Then why hasn’t Big Brother taken off again? That was another example of ‘people watching’ and Love Island just seems like a facsimile, albeit a more crass one. Frankly, it seems like Love Island only has an edge because of the nudity; or perhaps we just go through reality TV show fads?

I think it's partly down to how bleak the global situation is right now - I actually wrote about this the other day - people need a distraction, something mindless and inconsequential, more than ever. But yes, also it has lots of glistening butts and they're always at a premium on TV.

Yeah, I get that it’s a distraction, and there’s not exactly much joyful TV right now. But I just don’t understand how Love Island has elevated itself above other trash TV shows, to the point where publications who don't normally touch these shows (including this one) are writing about them. What makes Love Island special?

The producers. Big Brother et al were all about rules, to the point where good TV/good contestants would be allowed to fall in accordance with them. If Love Island knows a contestant is good value they'll switch the voting procedure up so it's more likely they'll stay on the island. If everyone is too coupled up and being dull, they'll put the men in a separate house, flood it with women, tell them 'what happens on tour stays on tour' but then feed back incriminating photos of them 'cracking on' (to use Love Island parlance) back to their other halves in the main house (this literally happened the other day). They don't draw the line anywhere. They're playing God.

Sounds like there are some seriously weird complexes going on here; I am intrigued. Let’s say, then, I did want to try this thing out, am I too late?

Nope! It's only two-thirds of the way through and the show's actually been extended by a week it's so popular (viewers are well into the millions, which is big for ITV2). I'm suddenly hesitant to recommend it though, it'll take over your life like it has mine. Jesus, I'll never get round to The Handmaid's Tale.

Okay, I’ll give it a go. But, much like the fidget spinner, I may never truly understand the hype.

Thank you and, I think, I'm sorry.