Joe Lycett parodies Wayne Lineker’s viral ‘wifey’ checklist in Instagram post

Lineker’s original post had been met by bemusement and derision from many on social media

Louis Chilton
Wednesday 16 September 2020 20:19
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Joe Lycett changes name to Hugo Boss

Comedian Joe Lycett created a parody of a viral social media post written by Wayne Lineker, brother of ex-England footballer Gary Lineker.  

In Lineker’s original Instagram post – which bore the disclaimer that it was “tongue-in-cheek banter”–  the Nightclub owner listed a set of criteria for a potential future girlfriend.

“You must like older men but only me,” he wrote. “You have to be a worldie and above 30 (OK 28 29 could work) but not my age as that would just look weird.

“A dog is acceptable but will need a passport. You must be able to cook as I love cooking, especially Waitrose ready made meals.”

Other demands include that the suitor be “prepared to give up [their] career or job or at least be able to work from a laptop on a tropical beach somewhere”, and that they “must never have shared a teeth whitening post”.

The post was met with bemusement by many on social media, with some on Instagram and Twitter even querying whether Lineker had been the victim of a hack.

Lycett saw the funny side as he posted his own selfie on the social media website, along with an even more farcical list of “wifey” demands.

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Beginning his post with the same phraseology as Lineker, the Joe Lycett’s Got Your Back star wrote that he had a “strong, nice, loving personality”.

He then listed his stipulations for a potential girlfriend: “Must like omelette. Must enjoy egg omelette. Must like scrambled egg. Must like cake with egg in it. Must like egg fried rice (but not other rice). Must like Cadbury creme egg. Must like fried egg.” 

Lycett continued: “Must like frittata made with egg. Must like those shakshukas you get in posh coffee shops (but only if made with egg). Must like scotch egg. Must like custard (if it is egg custard). Must be Alan Sugar. Must like boiled egg.”

The comedian’s followers joined in on the joke, with one person writing: “Think you need a hen, not a girlfriend.”

“Sound like a female poultry farmer would be the way forward. Good luck,” joked another.

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