I’m a therapist, and this is everything I know about what really makes people happy

Today is Blue Monday - officially the most depressing day of the year, but, after decades of working with clients who want to be happier, Lola Borg has found that what makes us happy isn’t always what we think it will be – and sometimes it’s not even what we should be aiming for...

Does Blue Monday really have to be that blue? (iStock)

When new clients tell me that their aim is to be happy, I allow myself an inward sigh. Then I ask them what they mean exactly. It’s a tricky notion. Pursued by the human race for millennia, and the subject of debate for philosophers from the Buddha onwards, it’s a big riddle to take on in a weekly 50-minute session. But I’m a therapist, and I want to inch people nearer to their idea of it, whatever that might be. With Blue Monday upon us, here are some thoughts on happiness from the treatment room.

January is the cruellest month

It’s when the gap between life as it is and life as we desire it can be at its most profound and unconquerable. Plus, if you’re in the UK, the chances are it’s cold, it’s raining, and there is no colour. But this too shall pass. Like all emotions, feeling low, unhappy, miserable, lost, or (often the hardest of all) stuck, will shift to a new phase eventually.