‘I’ve had enough of it, we’re governed by hypocrites’

It’s taken a while, but Trudy’s mother has finally realised the reality of 2021 Britain. By Christine Manby

When my brother and I were small, Wimbledon fortnight was heaven. We could get away with anything while the tennis was on (Illustration by Tom Ford)

A couple of weeks into the first lockdown last year, my mother called in a state of distress. Many of us were in a state of distress last March, of course, but until that moment Mum had seemed to be taking the new normal in her stride. When Boris announced that we all must spend three weeks at home to “squash the sombrero”, Mum was among those who invoked the “Blitz Spirit” (though she was born in 1950) and announced that it would be a doddle to do our bit to save the NHS. She had enough loo roll to last until 2025, having stocked up for a no-deal Brexit. The thing that finally broke her was the announcement that Wimbledon 2020 would not be going ahead.

For as long as I can remember, Mum has spent the first two weeks of July glued to the television, watching the tennis in SW19. When my brother and I were small, Wimbledon fortnight was heaven. We could get away with anything while the tennis was on. Mum wouldn’t have noticed if we lit up Benson and Hedges while sitting next to her on the sofa so long as John McEnroe was playing. In fact, 1980 – when McEnroe met Borg in the Wimbledon men’s final – was the year I first tried smoking, having pinched a single cigarette from Mum’s handbag while she was glued to the third set of the five-set epic. She didn’t even tear herself away from the screen when I had a coughing fit in the garden that drew Mr Ormington from next door out of his shed to see if his first aid training was required.

“I think your daughter’s choking.”