I’m starting to think Keir Starmer doesn’t really watch Love Island

Did his advisers show him the relevant clips to be certain he had a semblance of knowledge about a show where really hot people spend their days getting off with each other, asks Salma Shah

You may think this is nitpicking. It is. But come on, he really should be doing better than this (Getty/ITV)

Sir Keir Starmer has been bothering me this week. It is a surprise as I am usually undisturbed by thoughts of the leader of the opposition, much like the rest of his shadow cabinet who have already denounced him as too boring. Perhaps that’s why he made a stand trying to show off his common touch with some cringey dad joke vibes? Trouble is, all they’ve fostered in me is a feeling of serious annoyance and the question: what the hell is he actually thinking?

At PMQs this week Starmer tried his hand at “popular culture” by likening the government to a TV show. Of Boris Johnson, he said he was “gameplaying so much he thinks he’s on Love Island.” Cue polite titters, but he couldn’t just leave it there, “the trouble is, prime minister, that I’m reliably informed that contestants that give the public the “ick” get booted out.” OK. What? This strangulated gag really makes me question whether he watches Love Island at all.

Come to think of it, it feels a little implausible. Did his advisers show him the relevant clips to be certain he had a semblance of knowledge about a show where really hot people spend their days getting off with each other and/or preening their beautiful physiques in neon-coloured swimwear? He was the former head of the CPS, for crying out loud, he’s not rushing back after a hard day at the Commons to watch Love Island. Or is he? (If he is, it annoys me even more.)