There’s no need to tell the Queen to cut out booze – she’s already more disciplined than the rest of us

Over the years, the Queen has managed to attend countless state banquets, charity dinners and ceremonial galas without ever letting herself down, writes Jenny Eclair

The Queen has been advised by her doctors to give up alcohol (PA)

Apparently, the Queen has been advised to cut out the booze. I say “advised” because I don’t think anyone can “tell” the Queen to do anything. She’s the Queen, so doing what she wants is surely one of the perks of the job?

In any case, the Queen is obviously not a boozer. Can you imagine if she was? Just picture all those clumsily sliced ears during knighting ceremonies and the drunken heckling at the Royal Variety Show. Imagine how often she’d nod off during all those tedious ceremonies she’s been attending for almost 70 years.

For most of us, being the Queen for a couple of weeks would be enough to encourage anyone to overindulge. After all, there’s always a butler on hand. Surely a butler’s job is to bring you a tipple whenever you fancy, complete with a little dish of salty nibbles? I bet they’ve got snack cupboards piled to the rafters in Buckingham Palace, stuffed with all the posh stuff, plus cheesy footballs.