When life gives you lemons, don’t fake a Covid test

With his daughter ill at home this week, Will Gore remembers when pulling a sickie led to a surprise trip to the doctor

Who knew lemons were so versatile? (Getty/iStock)

Apparently, half the children in Britain are currently self-isolating thanks to the bursting of Covid bubbles.

Absences are playing havoc with the plans of parents and teachers, causing distress among smaller children and triggering absolute delight for a sizeable proportion of teenagers. So keen are some to get themselves and their friends out of the classroom, that they are said to be using lemon juice to produce false positive results when taking a Covid test. Handily, this also gets them an A in chemistry (or a nine in new money).

Quite why all these young people would rather isolate at home than go to school is a mystery. I suppose we’ve got the Euros, and now Wimbledon’s on the telly too. Not to mention Fortnite for the gamers, weed in the park for the bolder older ones, and TikTok for any secondary school child with an ounce of self-respect.