Happy Talk

There’s absolutely every need to swear, the science proves it

Swearing is even older than human beings, in fact some researchers believe it’s our version of a dog’s yelping, and it helps, it really does, writes Christine Manby

Sunday 12 July 2020 22:30 BST
Comments
Illustration by Tom Ford
Illustration by Tom Ford

It was the first time I had ever been skiing. The skis my friend Collin picked out for me from the pile in the garage belonged to his mother, who had skied since she was a small child in Finland. I was 22 but had never been anywhere near a piste. We just weren’t that kind of family. However, I grew up in Gloucester, where Eddie the Eagle took his first leap into history on the dry ski slope. I met Eddie once, when he came into the kitchen showroom where I had a Saturday job. The unlikely Olympic hero was a very nice man and his example was at the back of my mind as I agreed to take my life into my hands.

I duly joined Collin and his sister Michelle on a day trip to Stevens Pass in the mountains near Seattle. In the car park Collin strapped me into the skis then loaded me onto a ski lift to an intermediate slope. At the top of the lift, Collin slid from his seat and disappeared down the mountain as speed, shouting “snow plough” as he went. I was halfway back down to the car park, still dangling from the chairlift before a stranger helped me get off but left me standing bewildered in knee-deep snow. Eventually, Collin’s sister came to the rescue.

Michelle showed me how to position my skis – so that’s a snowplough – and thus began the most terrifying 20 minutes of my life. While more experienced – much more experienced – skiers danced around me, I managed roughly three metres upright between each fall. And as the piste got steeper and the falls got harder, my vocabulary got more and more blue. Every time I uttered a swear word, which was often, Michelle would cheerily respond, “There’s no need to swear!”

Join our commenting forum

Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies

Comments

Thank you for registering

Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged inPlease refresh your browser to be logged in