Boyfriend praised for refusing to pay for girlfriend’s plane ticket so she could stay on vacation longer

‘She can “find herself” on her own dime,’ one reader argues

Kaleigh Werner
New York
Monday 15 April 2024 17:37 BST
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A boyfriend’s decision to not pay for his girlfriend’s plane ticket was unanimously supported online.

Taking to Reddit’s popular confession forum, Am I The A**hole, the man questioned whether his actions were warranted. The 28-year-old started by explaining that he and his girlfriend, 27, had been dating for two years. The pair had booked and planned a two-week vacation to Italy, and the Redditor paid for everything – flight, hotels, and food.

“I make more than she does, and I wanted it to be a stress-free trip for both of us,” he admitted.

According to the man, everything was pleasant until they reached the end of their trip. Unexpectedly, the Reddit user said his girlfriend told him she wanted to stay in Italy longer, alone.

He wrote: “She tells me she wants to stay longer to ‘find herself’ and think about our relationship without me. She didn’t discuss this with me beforehand, and it completely blindsided me.”

“I was hurt and told her that if she feels she needs time alone, then she should also be independent financially during this extension of her trip,” he continued.

The Reddit user refused to pay for his girlfriend’s new return ticket, not wanting to pay for her to contemplate whether she wants to be in a relationship. He said she did not take this well.

According to the Redditor, she called him “selfish” and “unsupportive.” A few of their friends have chimed in too, telling him he was wrong for leaving her “stranded in a foreign country without financial help”.

“So, Reddit, AITA for refusing to pay for her new plane ticket home after she chose to extend her trip without any heads-up?” he asked.

An overwhelming number of commenters rushed to the comments section to let the Reddit user know he made the right decision. Some questioned if he should continue his relationship with the woman after she sprung this information on him.

One reader simply said: “She can ‘find herself’ on her own dime. That’s reasonable and fair.”

“Why could she not just think about this back home if this was the case?” a confused Reddit user asked.

Another viewer added: “If her friends and family are so concerned, they can take up a collection to pay her expenses.”

“Sounds like she wants to ‘find’ some Italian men and let her current man pay for her to do it. OP NTA since she wants to find herself, she can also pay for herself,” one person offered.

Another reader thought that the Redditor’s girlfriend might be “embarassed” after thinking he was going to propose on the trip.

“I don’t know, to me it feels more like ‘my bf of two years planned an amazing romantic two-week vacation in Italy and I expected him to propose on the trip,’” they wrote. “Now she’s disappointed and probably embarrassed because she definitely discussed this possibility with her friends.”

The commenter continued: “She doesn’t want to ask why he didn’t propose but she also isn’t sure she wants to stay in this relationship. And yeah, she’s upset so she’s expecting him to pay.”

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