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Bride labelled ‘selfish’ after revealing why she doesn’t want fiancé’s 98-year-old grandmother at wedding

‘I’m absolutely livid on behalf of grandma,’ one person commented

Chelsea Ritschel
New York
Thursday 19 August 2021 18:50 BST
Bride-to-be criticised because she doesn’t want to invite partner’s grandmother to wedding
Bride-to-be criticised because she doesn’t want to invite partner’s grandmother to wedding (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

A bride-to-be has sparked backlash after questioning whether she is wrong for not wanting her fiancé’s 98-year-old grandmother to attend their wedding reception.

The 28-year-old woman, who goes by the username @legitimate_scar_8747 on Reddit, recently shared the dilemma on the subreddit AITA (Am I the a**hole), where she revealed that she and her fiancé are getting married next month but have gotten into a serious argument because she doesn’t want to invite his grandma to the reception as “it will be extremely loud” and she wants it “to be a party atmosphere”.

According to the unidentified woman, she and her future husband decided not to invite children to their wedding, as they “want the reception to be a huge party for our adult friends and family with dancing, loud music and an open bar,” which she then revealed is the same reason she doesn’t want his elderly family member to attend.

“We’ve agreed to not have kids at our wedding, as we want the reception to be a huge party for our adult friends and family with dancing, loud music and an open bar. However, for precisely the same reasons that we don’t want kids there, I don’t want his elderly grandmother at our wedding either. I said she can come to the ceremony but not the reception,” the bride-to-be wrote. “It will be extremely loud and I want it to be a party atmosphere, and she will be extremely out of place. For context, none of my grandparents are still alive, and he still has his last living grandmother.”

In the post, the woman then revealed that her stance has led to a “huge fight” between her and her fiancé, especially because her partner’s grandmother “has always dreamed about being at her grandson’s wedding” as he is her oldest grandchild and because “she probably won’t make it to the next family wedding”.

According to the future bride, her solution was to invite her soon-to-be husband’s grandmother to the ceremony, but not to the reception, as she reiterated that the 98-year-old will “just be too out of place at the reception,” but said that her fiancé and his grandparent are adamant that she be invited to both.

“She and he both insist that she will be fine and wants to go to the party. But I just know it will inevitably lead to us dealing with her and taking care of her, and I just want to get drunk and let loose with my friends,” the woman continued.

She concluded the post explaining that her partner’s grandmother is now “really upset” and won’t talk to her, and that her fiancé is also unhappy with the decision, but that she ultimately feels she is within her right because she is the bride.

“She’s now really upset and won’t talk to me, and my fiancé is also angry. I think I am within my right to make this request, I am the bride after all,” she wrote, before asking: “AITA?”

The post has since been upvoted more than 13,000 times, with hundreds of Reddit users expressing their horror over the bride-to-be’s “selfish” attitude.

“She’s not a kid and you won’t have to take care of her. Honestly this would be enough for me to call the wedding off. Get over yourself,” one person wrote.

Another commented: “You realise [your fiancé] gets a say, too, right? Being the bride doesn’t give you ultimate veto power. And your wedding isn’t supposed to be about getting drunk with your friends, it’s about celebrating your relationship and being welcomed into your partner’s family. You want to get drunk with your friends without your partner or his grandmother to worry about, do it at your bachelorette party where you get 100 per cent control.”

Someone else added: “I’d honestly reconsider marrying someone so selfish and disrespectful to my family.”

The Reddit post also made its way to Twitter, where one screenshot captioned: “girl… what!!!” has been liked more than 51,000 times.

The comments on Twitter were equally dismayed by the woman’s behaviour, with one person describing it as a red flag.

“I feel like f*** your grandma, I wanna party’ is a pretty serious red flag,” one person tweeted, while the official Reddit Twitter account replied: “Justice for grandmother.”

The post also prompted many people to share photos and memories of their grandparents attending their own weddings, with one woman sharing a black-and-white photo and writing: “My grandmother passed away last week and I am so glad my husband suggested we do a small wedding close to where she lived after we had to cancel our original plans. She was the life of the party!”

“We made sure my 93-year-old grandfather could attend our wedding, including hiring a car for him. He had such a good time ‘watching the young people dance’ that he stayed later in the evening than we’d anticipated, costing us extra money. Worth every penny,” someone else tweeted alongside a photo of their grandparent.

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