The Independent's journalism is supported by our readers. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn commission.

Woman says date sent her home in Uber before event because he was ‘embarrassed’ by her outfit

‘He’s the only thing that’s embarrassing,’ one viewer writes

Chelsea Ritschel
New York
Thursday 23 December 2021 07:13 GMT
What is 'hardballing'? The newest dating trend for singles

A woman’s dating fail has prompted an outpouring of supportive responses from viewers who have praised her for recognising her date’s behaviour as a “red flag”.

Last month, Nikki Jabs, who goes by the username @nikki.jabs on TikTok, revealed that a date sent her home in an Uber before an event because he was “too embarrassed” by her outfit.

“I spent 40 minutes on my makeup to meet his friends and coworkers at a grand opening for the retail company he works for,” Jabs wrote in the caption on the video. “He was too embarrassed to be seen with me in this outfit, so he sent me home in an Uber and went to the opening without me.”

In the TikTok, Jabs can be seen showing the outfit she wore for the date, which consisted of pink high-waisted pants, a black crop top and a bright pink satin jacket.

According to Jabs, who spoke to BuzzFeed about the experience, she had met the man on Hinge and had been seeing him for about a month before he invited her to the opening launch for an athleisure clothing brand he worked for.

When Jabs arrived, she said that her date kept staring her up and down, but that when she asked him what was wrong, he told her “nothing”.

“I knew nothing positive was going to come of it. I pressed him until eventually he said: ‘You just look so… pretty.’ I knew it was code for ‘You are too dressed up,’” she said.

While speaking with the outlet, the TikToker revealed that her date also expressed discomfort with her outfit while they were having dinner before the event, at which point she asked whether he wanted her to change.

According to Jabs, she eventually told her date that she would either attend the event in the outfit she was wearing or not go at all, to which he asked whether he could order her an Uber home.

On TikTok, where the video has been viewed more than 8.9m times, people have expressed their horror over the man’s response, with many assuring Jabs that her date’s behaviour was a red flag - and that it is better she found out early in their relationship.

“If your attire was that important and specific, he should have been clear beforehand. Kick him to the curb,” one person commented.

Another said: “His behaviour proves he is a narcissistic, inconsiderate specimen of a human being.”

“So glad you learned this three weeks in and not later on,” someone else added.

In a follow-up video, Jabs showed viewers a better look at the outfit she’d chosen while expressing her outrage over her date’s reaction, as she noted that she’s showing “an inch of midriff”.

“He wasn’t comfortable with me around his coworkers, but was comfortable sending me home with a stranger in an Uber,” she captioned the video.

In the comments section, the video prompted one viewer to question whether Jabs ended the relationship after the man’s response, to which she revealed that she “packed up all my belongings while he was at his work function and left”.

While speaking to BuzzFeed, Jabs also revealed that this wasn’t the first time the man had made comments about her appearance in an effort to dictate the way she dressed.

“For a couple of weeks, he had been making small comments about my clothing and makeup, which eventually turned into suggestions,” she said. “Seemingly genuine compliments of ‘you look so much prettier without makeup’ turned into ‘I like you better without makeup’ and then those turned into ‘you don’t need to put on makeup tonight.’

“He had also made suggestions like: ‘You should just wear this sweater instead of that top,’ suggesting I wear baggier clothes instead of dressier tops that fit better.”

According to Jabs, she heard from her date as soon as he got home from the event, and eventually had to see him when she realised she had left her laptop at his home.

When she went to retrieve her laptop, Jabs told BuzzFeed that her date told her he “felt horrible” and that her outfit “would have been just fine for the event”.

However, despite his attempts at reconciliation, Jabs said she was firm in her decision to end the relationship. As for what she hopes viewers will take away from the videos, she said she hopes the TikToks help others recognise controlling behaviours in their own relationships.

“I hope [viewers] learn to recognise red flags early and find the courage to end a relationship before their partner’s behaviour becomes emotionally or physically unsafe,” she said.

The Independent has contacted Jabs for comment.

Join our commenting forum

Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies


Thank you for registering

Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged inPlease refresh your browser to be logged in