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Woman reveals how man said he wouldn’t pay for her after she declined to go to his place for first date

‘Who goes to some stranger’s house the first time meeting them?’ one respondent says

Amber Raiken
New York
Thursday 31 March 2022 20:40 BST

A woman has revealed how - after turning down a man’s request to go to his place for a first date - he then told her that he didn’t want to go out and have to “pay” for her.

In a recent video posted to TikTok, Lesley, @capocloutt, shared a screen recording of a voice message she got from a man on Snapchat. The text over the video reads: “When you tell him you’re not going over to his place as a first date.”

Throughout the voice message, the man could be heard explaining that he doesn’t want to pay for someone else’s “food” and “drinks” right away.

“Well, for me, I’m not going to just right go out with someone and pay for their food and pay for their drinks,” he said. “I’m not saying you don’t have money…I’m about to leave anyway, so I can’t be spending money like that.”

As of 31 March, the video has more than 310,400 views, with TikTok users in the comments appalled by the voice message and the man’s perspective about online dating.

“Men be like, ‘I don’t want to spend money on someone I don’t know,’ sir why are you looking to go out with someone you don’t know then,” one commenter wrote.

Another person asked: “Who goes to some stranger’s house the first time meeting them?”

Some emphasised how important it is to feel safe on a date, one of which said: “So many men don’t realise how dangerous it is for us to just go to someone’s house as a first date.”

Other viewers claimed that Lesley “dodged a bullet,” since the guy didn’t have the courtesy to take her out on a date.

“This man just admitted he can’t spend $30-40 on a simple burger and fries date. Next!” one wrote.

“He doesn’t wanna pay on the first date but is expecting to get some the first time hanging out lmao bye,” another comment reads.

In the comments, Lesley agreed with many of her viewers, noting how the voice message “saved [her] a lot of time,” which she could have been spent on the guy.

Speaking to The Independent, Lesley said she was taken aback by the voice message, since she never requested to go out on a date.

“I never asked him to take me out on a date or to even pay,” she explained. “All i said was that I wasn’t coming over.”

Regarding what she did next, Lesley noted that she “did not respond,” as she just “went ahead and blocked him.”

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