Woman’s response to Tinder match asking her to go on an ice cream date sparks debate

‘Someone who can’t enjoy the little things in life,’ a Redditor wrote

Kaleigh Werner
New York
Tuesday 18 July 2023 06:27 BST
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People are divided over a woman’s response to her Tinder match asking her to go on an ice cream date.

In an 11 July post to the subreddit channel r/Tinder, user u/Zhinii1, whose first name is Vance, posted a screenshot of his messages with a woman he asked to go on an ice cream date.

“I guess ice cream dates are considered a terrible idea nowadays,” his caption read. To start the conversation, Vance had reached out with a simple message: “Hey, this is Vance.” Both parties indicated their interest with smiley faces at the end of their initial introductions. However, the vibe of the chat suddenly shifted after Vance proposed grabbing ice cream on their planned date the following day.

“Hope you’ve had a good day, I’m excited for tomorrow. I can pick you up but if you’re not comfortable with that we can just meet there. Idk why but l’m feeling like getting some ice cream in this hot weather lol,” Vance wrote.

The suggestion didn’t go over well with Vance’s date, however, as she claimed she doesn’t “do ice cream dates”.

She texted back: “Sorry if this may come off as rude but I don’t do ice cream dates,” she responded. “I’m a 26-year-old woman and a date like that seems like the absolute bare minimum for me. Meeting up would be a waste of both of our times since we probably don’t have the same vibe. Best wishes.”

With nothing more to say, the Reddit user ended the conversation by replying: “Cool.” Vance also revealed that he noticed soon after that the woman had unmatched him on Tinder and blocked his number.

Other Redditors were shocked by the text exchange, which has been upvoted more than 35,000 times, and which prompted more than 7,200 comments debating the idea of an “ice cream date”.

“Someone who can’t enjoy the little things in life. That’s sad,” one individual noted, while another agreed: “WOW. I’d be so happy with a date idea that wasn’t the same old thing. She’s missing out. You’ll find someone to appreciate your ice cream date.”

Another person added: “Someone who can’t handle the INEXPENSIVE things in life. She wanted him to throw down.”

“It’s a first date from an app. Why would you even want to risk being stuck with someone for a long a** time at an expensive dinner. A lot of girls prefer coffee dates off apps cause it’s so low pressure,” a confused Reddit user pointed out.

According to someone else, the conversation actually worked out in Vance’s favour, as they claimed: “Good dodge there, she sounds FAR too serious and rather boring.”

Although some Redditors found it insulting the woman didn’t want to go for ice cream, others understood her opposition.

Under the subreddit r/TwoXChromosomes, one person defended the woman’s response and said: “You’re allowed to not go on a date if you think it’s low-effort.”

(Reddit user u/Faintingoats )

“Of course posting about her is just an excuse for a thread of rampant misogyny from men commiserating about how women use men for free meals,” the user u/Faintingoats continued. “The woman here was polite, communicated clearly, and in my opinion did nothing wrong or worthy of being mocked by hundreds of strangers.

“She is allowed to not want to meet you. She is allowed to think an ice cream date isn’t fun or interesting or worth her time. She is allowed free will and to be picky even if you disagree with her personal standards. Women are allowed to SAY NO and NOT give men a chance, and no amount of complaining on Reddit with other angry, lonely men is going to change that.”

In response to the debate, Vance weighed in to offer additional details, with the OP [original poster] revealing that he’d only had a “brief interaction” with the woman.

“Hi. I’m OP, the only information left out was the conversation on the app prior to her giving me her number. It was a brief interaction. We’ve matched before (a while back) and I asked her out again this time around. She agreed and told me she was free Thursday. She changed her mind and said she was busy and said that she was still free Tuesday. I replied by asking for her number since that would make coordinating easier and she agreed. The post is what happened after. She blocked me after her text and unmatched me before I responded back. My last message never delivered. Hope that clears things up,” he said.

Now, the debate over ice cream dates has taken over several other social media platforms, with users offering insight into why they may or may not prefer the outing.

Twitter account @Blackgirlinmain reshared Vance’s screenshot, where she wrote: “I’m twice this woman’s age, but I think an ice cream date for an initial meeting is pretty cool. After two marriages and a number of dalliances, I offer this advice. The first meeting is a time to just see if there’s a vibe. Why not enjoy a sweet treat while seeing what’s good?”

“Who is too grown for ice cream?” she asked. “Some of ya’ll got weird ideas on what being an adult is about.”

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