The Independent's journalism is supported by our readers. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn commission.

Woman sparks debate after sharing 10 ‘controversial’ rules that she and her boyfriend have to follow

‘Girl these are basic healthy relationship rules,’ one viewer responds

Amber Raiken
New York
Thursday 07 September 2023 06:16 BST
Woman sparks debate over list of ‘controversial’ rules for her and her boyfriend

A woman has sparked a debate after sharing the 10 “controversial” rules that she and her boyfriend follow in their relationship.

Gia, who goes by the username @giaaldisert on TikTok, shared a video last month about the “controversial” rules that they’ve followed throughout their six-year relationship. She started off by sharing their first dating rule, that they “always” share each other’s locations on their phones.

She explained the reason why she abides by this rule, adding: “One of the main ones is safety, we both feel a lot more comfortable just having each other’s locations, in case anything happened to either of us.”

Gia also said that sharing locations is “convenient” for her, since she can simply check when her partner has left work. She admitted that neither she nor her boyfriend “have anything to hide,” so it would be a bit “suspicious” if their locations were turned off.

The second rule was that her boyfriend isn’t allowed to go to strip clubs. Gia revealed that she doesn’t understand why a man with a girlfriend would go to a strip club, since there are “a bunch of naked” women dancing. She also claimed that much more nefarious things happen at these establishments than “the average women” would believe, before she questioned men for paying a dancer’s “bills” by visiting the club and offering them money.

For her third rule, she said: “I’m okay with him going on boys trips, and he’s okay with me going on girls trips.”

While Gia noted that she’s seen some people “feel weird” about their partners going away without them, she and her boyfriend “completely trust each other”.

“We started dating at really young ages, so we both feel like it’s important to do our own things,” she said. “Like, if I wanna go on a girls trip, I’m going to go. If he wants to go on a boys trip to a car show, he can go.”

Her next relationship rule was that she and her boyfriend don’t “like” other people’s “random thirst traps” on Instagram. Gia claimed that everyone can see that she and her boyfriend don’t “respect” each other if they’re liking suggestive Instagram posts, since liked posts on the app are public. “And it gives the person in the photo the idea that they have [mine or my boyfriend’s] attention, which is a big no-no,” she added.

Gia then gave her fifth rule, that she and her boyfriend don’t follow “Instagram models of the opposite sex” beause it’s “inappropriate” and the “public can see” what models they’re following online. “Why are you following a random person you’re attracted to, that’s posting sexual stuff, you know?” she added.

For her sixth rule, she specified that while she and her boyfriend can have friends of the opposite sex, they cannot be “best best friends” with them, because she and her partner are each other’s best friends. “We need to be each other’s priorities. We also have some boundaries, like no sleepovers with the opposite sex,” she explained. “And if either of the opposite sex person is being flirty to one of us, then that’s a big no.”

She then shared her seventh rule, noting that both her and her boyfriend are “okay with each other going to clubs”.

Gia emphasised that she and her partner trust each other, and specified that she goes to the clubs for “girls nights” and to have fun. However, she claimed that isn’t always the case for men. “I think guys go more to have the scene and pick up chicks, but I’m totally fine with my boyfriend going,” she said. “If it became a habit of him going all the time, I’d be a little bit confused.”

Gia then explained the reasoning behind her eighth rule: The couple knows each other’s passwords to their phones.

“If you’re in a relationship, especially for as long as mine, you shouldn’t be hiding anything on your phone,” she said. “So both of us are just super open with leaving our phones out because you shouldn’t have anything to hide.” She also acknowledged that it’s “convenient” to have her boyfriend’s passcode in different situations, such as when she orders food on his phone.

Her ninth rule, which Gia thought would be viewed as “controversial”, was that she’s “not cool” with watching porn. The TikTok user alleged that pornography’s “super toxic for your mind” and “gives unrealistic standards” about sex. After claiming that porn is “super addictive,” she also explained that since she and her partner live together, porn “seems very unnecessary”.

For her final rule, she said that she won’t be getting married until she and her boyfriend are “financially free”. Gia claimed that her followers have questioned her boyfriend for proposing after six years, but the TikTok user said she isn’t ready to get married.

“I’m 21, he’s 22, I’m still in college. I need to be financially free before I get married,” she said. “Not only are we super young, but weddings are expensive as f***. Same with engagement rings and everything.”

After noting that she and her partner are going to want to have the “biggest wedding”, she added: “So, let me be financially free before I plan my dream wedding.”

She concluded that these 10 relationship rules were specific to her and her boyfriend, before telling viewers that they can “do whatever works” for them.

Gia’s video has quickly gone viral, as it has amassed more than 8.4m views on TikTok. In the comments, many people went on to praise her rules, before pointing out how they’re key to a long-term relationship.

“The strip club thing I absolutely agree. You shouldn’t be going to anything like that when you’re in a serious relationship,” one wrote.

“Girl these are basic healthy relationship rules,” another added, while a third wrote: “This is NOT controversial, this is just a trusting healthy relationship.”

On the other hand, many people disagreed with Gia’s rules, as they went on to question her for making them in the first place and claimed they were “controlling”.

“‘We completely trust each other’ but also here’s 87 rules,” one quipped, while another added: “I don’t get the best friend part either? I thought you trusted each other now I’m confused?”

“Sounds more like controlling and avoidant methods, rather than dealing with and communicating each other’s insecurities and working on your own stuff,” a third claimed.

The Independent has contacted Gia for comment.

Join our commenting forum

Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies


Thank you for registering

Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged inPlease refresh your browser to be logged in