Doritos crust pizza: Pizza Hut fully commits to just making stoner food

Hot dogs where the hot dog is just Flumps on the way, probably

Damnit, Pizza Hut, make your mind up! Your new look and minimalist logo say "We're trying to be a fine pizzeria", but your latest recipes seem like they were created after the boardroom was hotboxed.

The one announced today particularly, which sees the crust of any pizza indiscriminately showered with Doritos shrapnel.

Incorporating tortilla chips into food is nothing new of course, there's crispy tacos and Frito pie, both of which are objectively delicious, but this appears to be the first time they've been worked into a pizza.

Somewhere an old Italian man in a white apron is leaning on a kitchen counter and weeping.

The Doritos Crunchy Crust Pizza is out now in Australia and the US but yet to reach the UK's crisp-strewn shores.

Fast food chains seem to be doing these sort of stunts more and more thanks to stories like this (I'm sorry), see: KFC's fried chicken USB stick and the Burger King black burger.