Life Support: How to cope with change

Accept change is difficult

Divorce, death, marriage and moving house top the list of the "most stressful things" in life because big life changes are hard. The difficulty often comes when the changes aren't instigated ourselves, but thrust upon us by other people, or by chance. Leaving a job or relationship is stressful – but being dumped or made redundant is a whole different kettle of fish.

Take your time

Stopping to pause for breath is important when changes are occurring. Taking stock of what has happened to you is a vital part of moving on. So if you have left a job, and are financially comfortable to be able to take a break, do so. Taking time to reflect on things can allow you to turn unwelcome changes to your advantage.

Talk about it

While therapy works for some, usually that cash could be better spent on opening a bottle of wine with friends. It is easy to forget that most of us have ready-made career/relationship/life consultants on hand in the shape of our friends. Not only might they be able to offer you advice, spending time with friends will help to bolster your self-confidence.

Keep going

Continuity is important for human happiness – this is no small part of why change can be so upsetting – so to minimise the disruption, try and carry on with everything else in your life. This can be difficult if you have suffered a major upset, but continuing with normal routines is often comforting.

Plan for the future

As difficult as it might seem, it is important to try not to dwell on the past. Planning for the future – be that joining a dating agency or looking for a new job – will give you control over your future. You might not be able to alter what has happened to you, but you can control the choices you make from here on in, so make them good ones.