Stay up to date with notifications from The Independent

Notifications can be managed in browser preferences.

Why Andy Murray’s advice to his daughter on failure is great advice for all of us

As Andy Murray discovered, kids can say the wisest things.

Liz Connor
Thursday 22 July 2021 11:07 BST
Andy Murray (Steven Paston/PA)
Andy Murray (Steven Paston/PA) (PA Wire)

You never know what children are going to say. It can be nonsensical and incoherent (depending on their age) but every once in a while they come out with a  nugget of wisdom that really makes you stop and think.

It’s something tennis ace Andy Murray discovered while chatting to his daughter – he has four children with wife Kim Sears – after a devastating loss at Wimbledon The Scot has revealed she helped him reframe his disappointment after his encouraging run at the tennis championship was ended by Canada’s Denis Shapovalov

“When I got home the day after my match, my daughter said to me, ‘Daddy you’re home because you lost another tennis match’. I said to her, ‘Yes I did but what do you do when you lose at something?’

Andy Murray waves to the crowd after his third round match defeat against Denis Shapovalov on day five of Wimbledon (John Walton/PA) (PA Wire)

“And she said, ‘You try and try again’. And I was like, ‘Yes, that’s what I want to do’. I want to keep playing because I enjoy it. I still think I can play at a high level.

“There’s been difficult moments obviously in the last few months and the last year with the injuries and stuff but right now this is the healthiest I’ve been for the longest period in the last year.”

After a major defeat, whether at work or in personal relationships, it can be hard to find the momentum to keep trying, but as Murray proves, taking part is the most important element of the process and failure can teach you lessons and train you to be stronger.

In fact, the tennis pro says that speaking to his daughter about enjoying the process of competing – win or lose – has helped him to see the bigger picture when it comes to targeting an Olympic medal at Tokyo.

Here are a few reasons why it’s always good to try:

Successful people focus on the process, not the outcome

Steve Jobs and Jeff Bezos two of the most successful entrepreneurs of all time, both failed big time before landing on their million-dollar business ideas.

In fact, in an interview for KING-TVs ‘Evening Magazine’ in 2000, Bezos said that when he started Amazon as an online bookseller in 1994, he thought it had a 30% chance of succeeding.

Every time you try at something, it’s a chance to become more comfortable with failure

Not only do you start to become more resilient to the ups and downs of life, but failing allows you to recognise your mistakes and get better at the thing you’re trying at – whether that’s taking part in a sport, starting up a business, or even something small like a new hobby or passion project.

Trying is always better than doing nothing

That feeling of winning is oh so good, but you may never achieve anything noteworthy if you don’t muster the courage to learn from failure and come back stronger.

It feels good to try

Even if the outcome isn’t what you’d hoped, there’s a small joy in knowing that you tried. As the old saying goes, ‘It’s not the winning that counts, it’s the taking part.’

Thank you for registering

Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged inPlease refresh your browser to be logged in