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Bride defends groom’s ‘red flag’ wedding vows amid backlash: ‘Nothing I would have changed’

‘I loved his vows. I loved my vows. I loved our wedding day,’ bride says

Chelsea Ritschel
New York
Tuesday 28 March 2023 15:58 BST
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Related: Bruce Willis and wife Emma Heming renew wedding vows on anniversary

A woman has spoken out in defence of her new husband after his “red flag” wedding vows went viral.

Last week, Jonathan Pajak, a wedding videographer who goes by the username @lensculture on TikTok, uploaded a video of a groom’s unconventional wedding vows, in which the man named Michael spoke of his hope that his new bride keeps him happy with sex and cooking.

“You’re screwed,” the groom whispered to his bride, who could be seen giggling, as they stood at the altar in front of their friends and family.

The groom then proceeded to tell his partner that “only two things are required to keep [him] happy,” and that they involve his wife keeping his “belly full” and intimacy. “Though you’re amazing at half of it, we really need to get you some cooking lessons,” he continued to groans and laughter from the wedding guests.

In his vows, the man also claimed that there isn’t anyone he could love more than his wife, “unless [he] actually gets the chance to meet Margot Robbie”.

The groom then read out additional sexually charged jokes as his bride giggled and covered her face, before bending over in laughter.

The video also captured the officiant, who happened to be the groom’s mom, informing the crowd that she planned to “deal” with her son later. “He is grounded. By all means,” she said, as the guests continued to laugh.

The TikTok, which ended with a shot of the videographer looking concerned, has since been viewed more than 18 million times, with many viewers criticising the groom’s vows.

“My jaw was on the floor… is this real? Immediately no,” one person commented, while another said: “This is all red flags.”

According to someone else, although they share a similar sense of humour with their own husband, they’d be “mortified” by the vows at their own wedding. “My husband and I have this sense of humour together. But wedding vows? I’d be mortified,” they wrote.

“If I was her, we’d no longer be getting married and I’d tell him to go find Margot Robbie so he can be rejected by two women in the same day,” another person wrote, while someone else commented: “I’m not even kidding, I would have walked away from that altar.”

Amid the ongoing backlash over the man’s vows, the bride, Destiny, has since uploaded a video of her own, in which she defended her husband from the criticism.

Destiny, who goes by the username @destiny010513, addressed the viral reaction to her husband’s unusual vows in a TikTok uploaded last week, in which she began by clarifying that she’s happy, “still married,” and that there’s nothing she would have changed about her wedding.

“So, if you’ve seen the vows on TikTok that have now gone viral, I’m that bride,” Destiny began the video. “So, with that being said, yes I’m happy, yes I’m still married, yes, I love my wedding, and there is nothing that I would have changed.

“I loved his vows. I loved my vows. I loved our wedding day. His vows showed a piece of his personality, which is the humour side, which is definitely Michael.”

Destiny then noted that her vows showed her side, and a “little bit of [her] personality, which is not outspoken like Michael”.

“Very two opposites, and yet we go together so damn well,” she continued.

In the video, the newlywed then revealed that she has known Michael since 2010, and that he was the same back then, before noting that they began dating in 2013 and that he was also “like this then”.

“So, I knew what I was getting myself into when we started dating and before we got married, considering we’ve been together 10 years now,” she said.

Destiny then addressed some of the criticism she and Michael have faced over the vows, with the bride noting that she “knows” the critics are wrong about her and her husband’s relationship.

“I know you’re wrong because I actually know my relationship and I know myself and I know Michael. So, I’m sorry if you’re just not that happy with your life … There’s never a dull moment in my relationship. I’m sorry if you don’t have the same. And if you don’t want the same, good for you, go find someone who you think you deserve or deserves you.”

The bride then claimed that her husband is “too good” for her and that she “said that then, when [she] met him, and will say that now”.

“Like I said, you guys don’t truly know him so you don’t understand why or where I’m coming from when I say that,” she continued, before expressing her gratitude to those who had expressed amusement over the unique vows.

The video, which Destiny captioned “sorry, not sorry,” has since been viewed more than 161,000 times and has prompted a debate in the comments, where some viewers have applauded the bride for speaking out, while others have continued to question Michael’s vows.

“You deserve so so so much better,” one person claimed, while another said: “That’s NOT HUMOUR! Joking about leaving for anyone and sexual things as if that’s all you’re good for. It’s the one time to step up and he didn’t.”

In addition to red flag emojis, many viewers also said they feel “so sorry” for Destiny.

According to someone else, they felt the vows were not appropriate because “there’s a time and a place” but that it shouldn’t have been on the couple’s wedding day.

In response to the comment, Destiny said it made sense on their wedding day because they’ve been together 10 years. “Why do we have to be so serious on our wedding day? Getting married hasn’t changed anything,” she wrote.

However, others have shared their support for the couple, with one person writing: “I bet you outlast most of the people on here saying it’s not the time or place. It seems you both know how to keep each other happy and are in love.”

As for Destiny’s vows, the couple’s videographer also shared a TikTok of her wedding vows, in which she’d described her husband as her “knight in shining armour” and her “best friend”.

The Independent has contacted Destiny for comment.

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