There are many reasons why people don’t want sex, including feeling tired, discomfort, pain, lack of arousal, or that it just doesn’t feel very pleasurable.
From buying the most expensive, all-singing, all-dancing sex toy to swinging from the ceiling whilst dressed as Wonder Woman, people experiment with the most bizarre treatments and devices to improve their sex lives.
Owning a sex toy company, you may be surprised that the best product we have found that customers say make sex better is lubricant. This one simple, inexpensive addition to your sex life can transform it.
Mention the word ‘lubricant’ in a sexual manner and most people think of older women experiencing vaginal dryness during the menopause (as a result of decrease in oestrogen), but sexual lubricants can benefit both men and women, whatever their age.
The myth that lubricants are only needed for “fixing” a sexual problem needs to be dispelled. Many women, young or old, suffer from vaginal dryness at some time during their life but are too embarrassed to discuss the problem or seek help.
Sadly, there seems to be an incorrect assumption through social and mainstream media that younger women do not need to use vaginal lubrication as they should always be wet, and if they aren’t, then they have a problem.
Levels of vaginal secretions vary between women and can be affected by:
● Stress, anxiety and relationship issues
● Hormonal changes due to contraception, pregnancy, breastfeeding and menstruation
● Medical conditions such as diabetes, side effects of chemotherapy, full hysterectomy or immune disorders
● Medications – contraceptive pill, anti-depressants and allergy medications
● Chemical products – washing powders, harsh soaps, feminine sprays or douches and perfumed toilet roll
● Lack of foreplay – women need more stimulation than men do
A 2013 study of 2,451 women aged between 18-68 found that overall, women felt positive about lubricants, preferring sex to feel more wet than not. 9 out of 10 women felt that sex was more comfortable, pleasurable and simply better when using lubrication.
It can also make sex feel pleasurable for men too. Having a well-lubricated penis not only enhances pleasure but also prevents damage or abrasion to the delicate tissues of the vagina and penis. It can also help make sexual intercourse last longer if it feels good.
Older men also face challenges in the form of erection and arousal problems. Requiring longer genital arousal to gain erections and to be turned on, the use of lubrication can intensify pleasure, helping to make erections last longer.
By using lubricants during foreplay or when you are unable to have penetrative sex, you can increase pleasure and heighten arousal.
What lubricant should you use?
We always recommend using a sexual lubricant with our sex toys and often hear about a varied and strange variety of substances that people use as lubricants, from butter and margarine, to hand cream, vegetable and massage oils, baby oil, petroleum jelly (Vaseline) and saliva.
Many people don’t consider what these products may contain, some of which can cause irritation, allergies or thrush.
Many couples use saliva as their lubricant, but it is more watery than slippery and dries out quickly.
You need to consider what type of lubricant you want to use as some lubricants, which create tingling sensations or are dyed, can cause allergic reactions or irritation. There is nothing worse than a burning vagina or penis.
Water based lubricants
Water based lubricants are the most versatile of all the lubricant types as they are safe for all sexual activities, even for use with silicone sex toys. These are the most popular choice of lubricant, being inexpensive, non-staining and many can be ingested in small amounts during sex. They are also safe to use with latex condoms and diaphragms.
Many women like YES water based lubricant because it feel more like their natural vaginal lubrication. YES is also absorbed into the tissues of the vagina, helping to nourish and keep them flexible.
Water based lubricants also have the added benefit of being incredibly easy to wash off after use, leaving your skin clean, silky smooth and free of any residue. If they do dry out, you can add a little more or reactivate them with water.
Oil based lubricants
Oil based lubricants give a great long-lasting, silky smooth experience and being thicker and more creamy in nature, they last longer during sex. They are great to use for masturbation, but be aware that they are not safe to use with latex contraceptives.
Both water based and oil based lubricants can be used together during sexual play.
Silicone based lubricants last a very long time, are great for fun in the water and are safe for use with latex condoms. However, they are not suitable to use on silicone sex toys because they will damage the surface. Give Lube silicone based lubricant does not contain preservatives, is dermatologically safe, and moisturising.
Petroleum based products
Petroleum based products are best avoided as they are difficult to wash off and may cause irritation by changing the pH of the vagina, which can lead to yeast infections. They also destroy condoms and latex products.
A little goes a long way
Some lubricants come in tubes and applicators, making it easier to apply the lubricant exactly where you want it to go. And a final tip - squirt a small amount in your hand to warm it up first, rather than applying it directly onto the genitals.
Samantha Evans is a former nurse, sexpert and co-owner of online sex toy retailer www.jodivine.com
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