Love Island 2023: Is having a ‘type’ holding back your dating life?

Struggling to meet someone who is your ‘type’ like some of the Islanders?

The new batch of Love Island contestants (ITV/PA) (ITV)

Love Island’s summer series began on ITV last night, hosted by Maya Jama.

But, some Islanders were left disappointed when they were matched with someone before arriving – by the public – who didn’t fit their ‘type’, while others were thrilled that their expectations were being fulfilled.

While George Fensom was excited that Jess Harding was his “type on paper”, Ruchee Gurung was left disappointed that Mehdi Edno was not her ‘type’, but said that he was growing on her.

But, what do we mean when we discuss ‘types’? Is it just physical or does it apply to personality traits?

“A ‘type’ is someone who we find attractive. For example, it could be that you feel more attracted to blondes or brunettes,” says dating coach Jacob Lucas.

“It could also be about a personality type. For example, some people find guys who go to the gym attractive and would only date those types of people,” says Lucas.

“Having a type when dating can be very limiting.“There could be lots of people who could be your perfect match in the world, but if you refuse to date anyone who doesn’t fit your idea of your perfect match, then you will find dating very difficult,” he explains.

Self-imposed limitations

By categorising people as your type or not, you are limiting your choices.“Let’s say that your type is blondes, and you will only date blonde people, then you are basically eliminating every other person in the dating pool. This is a huge mistake because you are focusing purely on the physical attributes of someone, instead of what truly matters,” says Lucas.

“There could be a brunette out there who is very attractive and also has a personality that would suit your own perfectly. You would have missed out on being with someone who could have been your perfect match,” he explains.

Your type will evolve

You won’t always want what you think you want.

“When you are open-minded when dating, I guarantee your type will change,” says Lucas.

“As a dating coach, I have met many people who have a certain type and I always tell them to be open-minded and don’t date just one type of person. When they take my advice and date people who aren’t their usual type, 99% of the time, they find someone.

“This is because, as people, we tend to stick with what we know – it makes us feel safe and comfortable. If you always stay in your comfort zone, you’ll never get to experience what else the world has to offer – and the world of dating has a lot to offer.

“You’ll have lots of new experiences and conversations, and find your new type brings out elements of your own personality that you never knew you had inside yourself,” Lucas says.

You might keep making the same mistakes

Always dating the same kind of person may lead you to keep hitting the same barriers.

“If you keep dating a certain type of person and keep running into the same relationship problems, then you need to change it up,” says Lucas.“Many people have the same problems with different partners. For example, let’s say you like to date the ‘bad boy’ types and every one of your boyfriends is a ‘bad boy’ type, then you’re going to keep having the same problems with each one.

“You need to ask yourself, ‘Do I find them attractive because they are a ‘bad boy’? Or have I simply not met a ‘nice guy’ who is also exciting to me?

“I have had so many clients tell me they find ‘bad boys’ attractive and I tell them they need to date a ‘nice guy’ with an edge. Basically, a guy who treats them the right way, but knows how to stand up for themselves, and knows how to give the banter back,” Lucas explains.