Sarah Jessica Parker was devastated by Cattrall's public response
Sarah Jessica Parker was devastated by Cattrall's public response

Sex and the City in 2018: How every dating plot would go down 20 years later

Just in case you 'couldn't help but wonder'

Olivia Petter@oliviapetter1
Wednesday 06 June 2018 08:51
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Sex and the City arrived on TV screens exactly 20 years ago this week, which, in dating years, is practically a century ago.

With the advent of reality TV, social media, dating apps and its correlating lexicon, it’s safe to say that a lot has changed since Carrie Bradshaw was running around looking for love the streets of Manhattan in her Manolos.

Sacrificing autonomy for men, using sex as a social currency and fully succumbing to every plague imposed by the patriarchy were all classic tropes in the somewhat archaic relationships that unfolded throughout the series, which ran from 1998 to 2004.

But what would those relationships and characters look like today?

Would Charlotte have traded husband-hunting for Tinderella activism?

Would Mr Big have given up on the IRL dating scene to uphold his personal brand of toxic masculinity on a constructed reality show?

Would Samantha’s penchant for sexual liberation lead her to abscond from heteronormative ideals altogether?

The four ladies of the series would carve a very different path in today's ephemeral dating culture

And finally, would Ms Bradshaw have finally realised there’s more to dating than pensive laptop-bound contemplations and “couldn’t help but wonder” aphorisms?

Wonder no more, as we’ve outlined what eight key SATC plot lines would look in 2018:

The post-it breakup would never have happened

In today’s digital landscape, there’s no way Berger would've broken up with Carrie via a post-it note with the words “I can't, don't hate me” on it because he would've forgotten that post-it notes even existed, let alone resorted to the nostalgic art of written communication to end a relationship.

Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie Bradshaw.

Instead, in accordance with the brutal disposable attitude that has become synonymous with modern dating, he’d have ghosted her, cutting off all communication and vanishing into the dating abyss without so much as a farewell wave emoji.

Samantha would be the poster woman for sexual fluidity

In 2018, the sexually-liberated character of Samantha would be freed from heteronormative constraints, leading her to identify as pansexual, a legitimate rephrasing of the quippy term of “trysexual” which she loosely uses in one episode.

Charlotte would've had just one wedding

Charlotte would never have met and married Harry because she would’ve felt compelled to stay married to Trey in order to keep that Park Avenue apartment - people don’t give properties away for free in the current economic climate, especially not in New York.

Carrie would try her hand at polyamory

Instead of running a mile after meeting young Sean’s sexually-liberated friends, Carrie would’ve taken the opportunity to experiment with polyamory for a few months before realising she found the concept a little confusing.

Carrie and Aidan would never have worked

While the relationship between Carrie and Aidan is dear to the hearts of many fans, it would be bound to failure in the modern world because Carrie would’ve been a prolific fashion influencer and Aiden would’ve soon tired of being her Instagram boyfriend.

Miranda would not have been shamed by her cleaner

Magda would have had no problem with stumbling upon Miranda’s vibrator while getting on with her chores.

Instead of replacing it with a note instructing her to “make pies” and succumb to a domesticated stereotype, the incident would’ve provoked an in-depth conversation between the two women about tackling the taboos surrounding female masturbation.

Carrie’s fart would’ve been a feminist statement

Few SATC fans could forget the abject humiliation Carrie faced after she farted while lying in bed with Mr Big. Today, that fart would’ve been so much more than a mere incident of accidental gas release.

It would’ve been a seismic disruption of feminine ideals that Carrie would’ve done intentionally as a means of testing Big’s tolerance and wokeness. Naturally, he would’ve failed and gone on to star in The Bachelor after telling Carrie “I’m just not that into you.”

Miranda wouldn’t have tolerated street harassment from a sandwich

As the indisputable anti-establishment icon of the series, there’s no chance Miranda would’ve silently accepted being catcalled by a man dressed as a sandwich in 2018, let alone fantasised about him.

In fact, such an encounter wouldn't have even happened because the predatory men of today are far more likely to hide behind a convoluted dating app profile littered with aubergine emojis than an ill-fitting sandwich costume.

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