One in three women alter their behaviour on dates to make men feel ‘more powerful’

Almost one third of men say they feel pressured to take the lead when dating

A so-called ‘romance gap’ is negatively affecting people’s dating lives (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

One in three women change their behaviour on dates with men to make their partner feel “more powerful or comfortable”, according to new research.

A survey of more than 2,000 UK adults, carried out by YouGov for dating app Bumble, found that a so-called “romance gap” is negatively affecting many people’s quests to find a partner.

The survey results show that while most men and women believe in equality in relationships, most still conform to gendered conventions in their dating lives.

Men feel as though they should take the lead, while women worry that they must settle down before they get “too old”.

More than half of those surveyed (52 per cent) said different expectations based on their gender identity results in them behaving in a way that is less true to who they are, while 51 per cent said it makes dating more stressful.

One in six people in the UK (63 per cent) said society expects men to take the lead in relationships, with 27 per cent of men saying they feel pressured to conform to this expectation.

Additionally, men are more likely to worry about a lack of sexual experience, with 18 per cent reporting they are concerned about being judged. In contrast, almost one in five women fear they’ll be judged on their number of sexual partners.

Gendered views and expectations are also affecting how women treat potential romantic partners.

More than half of the women surveyed (62 per cent) said they feel they are expected to avoid appearing too keen, clingy, attached or desperate, while only 40 per cent of men said the same.

Additionally, women feel greater pressure to enter a relationship, with one in three stating that they have felt pressure to compromise on their needs or wants in a bid to settle down before getting “too old”.

Some women are also changing their behaviour on dates to allow their male partners to conform to society’s expectations. Of those surveyed, one in three women (33 per cent) said they have behaved differently to make a man feel more powerful or comfortable.

Naomi Walkland, Bumble’s vice president for Europe commented: “The Romance Gap is a new term, but many of us will know the feeling. Those moments of questioning if sending that text makes you appear too keen, waiting for them to take the lead, or worrying if you are being judged for being too keen, too inexperienced, too old.”

The dating app is encouraging its users to have an “open conversation” about how the “romance gap” impacts how they behave in relationships and what they expect of their partners.

“Only when we are aware of it can we challenge each other to do away with gendered expectations of who should do what,” Walkland said.