‘That’s just my luck’: Why it’s you, not the universe, causing your bad fortune

The social media phenomenon of ‘lucky girl syndrome’ is all about spotting opportunities and taking ownership of our actions, say experts. Helen Coffey digs into how we can shift our perspective to become ‘luckier’

Is luck an external force or something you can create? (Getty)

I am a great believer in luck. The harder I work, the more of it I seem to have.”

This quote, sometimes paraphrased as “the harder I work, the luckier I get”, is attributed to Polish-born American film producer Samuel Goldwyn, an immigrant who went from being penniless in Warsaw to having a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

His words neatly encapsulate one train of thought when it comes to luck – that, far from some mysterious force based on the whims of the cosmos, it’s something we’re in control of. The opposing ideology, of course, is that “luck” is its own entity. You either have it or you don’t. Some people are inherently lucky (the guy who won the scratch card lottery twice in a row after coming out of a life-threatening coma, say) and some people aren’t (the guy who was allegedly struck twice by lightning).

A third of Britons (34 per cent) confess to being “very” or “somewhat” superstitious, according to YouGov data, with women significantly more likely to be channelling their inner Stevie Wonder than men. Some 30 per cent of people say they believe breaking a mirror is a sign that bad luck is coming their way while, according to a Paddy Power survey, 72 per cent of people in the UK admit they believe in luck.

But is it fate, finding a four-leafed clover, wearing a particular pair of pants or a certain alignment of the planets that govern whether or not things go your way? Or is it all about mindset and perspective?

Focusing on the latter is the key to changing your luck, claims Georgie May, a wellness activist and author of Lucky Girl: Unveiling the Secrets of Manifesting a Lucky Life.

“How we define luck is very subjective and changes from individual to individual,” she says. “My understanding of luck is that it’s not a passive force but a dynamic energy. It’s not ‘chance’ – luck is a product of the intentional choices we make and the mindset we create.”

Lucky girl syndrome is all about appreciating what’s already going your way (Getty/iStock)

While she doesn’t think people are “born lucky” in the conventional sense, May does emphasise that, clearly, some of us are born into more favourable circumstances than others. It’s not an equal playing field. “There is a rolling of the dice – some people are dealt a very lucky hand and granted a head start. That’s why it’s essential to advocate for social justice and structural change. There’s a balance of collective responsibility and personal empowerment to be struck when it comes to luck.”

This notion is perhaps best epitomised by the recently revived nepo baby debate – however talented Maya Hawke, Dakota Johnson, Lily Collins and all the rest might be, they obviously had a massive leg-up by way of their families already being involved in the entertainment industry.

That said, May was inspired to look into the psychology of luck after the phenomenon of “lucky girl syndrome” gained viral traction on social media over the past year or so. This trend saw young women posting videos confidently proclaiming how lucky they were, declaring that everything always seemed to go their way. The idea being that if you repeatedly tell the universe how fortunate you are, you will start to become fortunate for real – purely through the power of positive thinking and manifestation.

Some critics panned the craze, deeming it nothing more than “toxic positivity” perpetuated by rich, white women who were oblivious to their privilege. But May is quick to counter that the movement was never about entitlement. “That’s a misconception,” she argues. “It’s about taking action to create luck. It’s not just a question of attitudes, it’s defined by our behaviour. It’s about shifting our mindset, challenging entrenched beliefs and taking ownership of our own actions.”

We’re like giant magnets: if we focus on negatives and setbacks, sometimes we attract more of the same

One crucial element of this theory relates to the stories we tell ourselves. Some people feel like the universe is somehow conspiring against them – that, no matter what they do, they just can’t catch a break. It can be tempting to put everything down to external forces. But that narrative hinders rather than helps us, says May.

“A lot of psychologists agree that our mindset is crucial in shaping our perceptions and attitudes,” she says. “We’re like giant magnets: if we focus on negatives and setbacks, sometimes we attract more of the same. One reason for this is confirmation bias – our brains are wired to seek out things that back up what we already believe to be true.” In practice: if you’ve decided you’re unlucky, you’ll pick up on every instance in your life that “proves” this to be the case, overlooking all evidence to the contrary. “Another reason is the idea of self-fulfilling prophecy – if you have negative thoughts and constantly expect bad things to happen, this pessimism may actually lead to things that actively create negative outcomes.”

To this end, there exists a “range of behaviours that lucky girls steer clear of”, says May. First and foremost, they avoid focusing on lack, instead cultivating a mindset of prosperity over poverty, abundance over scarcity. An effective tool by which to achieve this is practising gratitude. “For a lot of people, they don’t think they have anything to feel good about,” says May. “But focusing on the things you can feel grateful for, big or small, rewires your brain; it instils a sense of optimism and abundance.” Starting the day when you wake up by counting on 10 fingers 10 things that make you lucky – from the air in your lungs and the sun streaming in through the window to the people you love in your life – is a simple way to kickstart the habit.

Avoiding the “comparison trap” can also help. We used to have a finite number of peers to compare ourselves to – and potentially feel jealous of – but now you only have to open Instagram to feel you’re failing on all fronts. “Looking at other people and focusing your time on comparing your life to theirs, wondering why you aren’t further ahead, drains energy and makes you feel less worthy,” says May. Instead, acknowledge your own progress. Develop a sense of accomplishment; celebrate every win, big or small; take ownership of victories; and take pride in how far you have come in life.

Replacing self-criticism with positive self-talk and empowering words of self-affirmation is a step in the right direction. Telling yourself “I am capable” and “I am worthy” can help build confidence and open your mind to attracting opportunities, advises May. “It switches up our vibrations,” she adds. “It gives us a growth mindset rather than a fixed one – if we believe our circumstances and abilities are predetermined and can’t change, it limits us. A growth mindset means believing we have the capacity to improve; and it helps us become more resilient in the face of adversity when things don’t go our way.”

Other luck-attracting behaviours include cultivating openness – “release the need to control everything and embrace the unknown with curiosity” – and focusing on solutions instead of dwelling on past problems. “Take a proactive approach, identifying what skills you have to help you move forward,” says May. “And embrace learning – any setback or ‘bad luck moment’, as awful or heartbreaking as it is at the time, is an opportunity that helps you grow and become stronger.”

Meanwhile, trading quick-fix solutions for investing time and effort into working out what our core issues are, and developing genuine, dependable solutions and positive habits in response, “helps our luck in the long term”. May points out that, though the harder way may require patience, the rewards are more “substantial and fulfilling” than trying to take shortcuts.

A growth mindset means believing we have the capacity to improve

The old “fake it till you make it” adage could also be something of a red herring: “If you’re suppressing emotions and not being clear about how you’re really feeling, it creates more mess. Take time to honour how you feel. Tap into emotions, know it’s OK and express them rather than pushing them down.”

Finally, lucky girls eschew “energy vampires”, says May. “Steer clear of relationships with people who suck out your positivity and drain you,” she warns. “This can be easier said than done, but try to take a step back and shift to networking with people who fill your cup; they’ll help protect your energy, vision and goals.”

At the end of the day, although we may often associate luck with financial gain – a lottery win, a windfall, or a big promotion – May believes that real luck isn’t about materialism at all. “It’s about finding joy and happiness in the everyday – that, to me, is the definition of luck.”

So make the effort to count your blessings – and you too might just realise you’ve had a case of lucky girl syndrome all along.