Mother supported for refusing to name son after father-in-law

‘As long as you and your husband agree on the name, everyone else can mind their own business’

Brittany Miller
New York
Thursday 18 April 2024 13:45 BST
Related: Gordon Ramsay reveals ‘best advice’ father-in-law ever gave him: ‘We were young and skint’

A mother has been applauded after revealing her decision not to name one of her twins after her father-in-law.

In a recent Reddit post shared to the “Am I The A**hole?” subreddit, she explained her labour experience, describing it as “traumatic”. “I was labouring for two days and throughout the process we kept our families updated,” the post read.

“Everyone was fussing over the babies and my poor husband who only had about four hours sleep for the whole two days was napping. My dad, however, sat by me first and just held my hand for a bit. When I told him to go get some cuddles with the twins, he said ‘I’m here to see my baby’ meaning me. It was honestly so sweet and I started tearing up.”

Her father ended up taking her privately to breakfast, which she appreciated enough to make the decision to give her newborn her father’s name as his middle name.

The problem was that her father-in-law had always wanted a grandson named after him and he will now no longer have a chance.

“He has two sons, my husband and his younger brother and my brother-in-law is gay and currently says he doesn’t want to adopt kids in the future,” the Reddit post continued. “My FIL is also one of those people who cares about ‘bloodlines’ so I don’t think he’d want an adopted grandson named after him.”

Her husband also didn’t want to name their son after his father due to their “complicated” relationship, but agreed to make sure they shared the same initials.

After breaking the news to her father-in-law, she said he “lost his mind”.

“He said that this was something he always wanted and we were throwing it in his face by giving the baby my father’s name as his middle name. I tried to explain why but he cut me off and said that it was absurd to expect someone to check on me when there were babies that had just been born and my father shouldn’t be rewarded for ‘ignoring his grandchildren’. I tried to explain that it was more than just the moment because my dad has been my best friend for my whole life but he didn’t want to hear it,” the mother wrote.

In the post, the woman then claimed her mother-in-law ended up voicing her own opinion on the subject, saying that her father doesn’t care about his grandchildren being named after him, but her father-in-law does.

“According to her, we are taking something away from him just because my dad chose to do something ‘unusual’ which to them was ignoring the babies until he was satisfied with me being okay (he did not ignore the kids, he got plenty of cuddles in when we got back from breakfast),” the post concluded before asking for the commenters’ opinions.

Many people wrote in the comments that they supported her decision to not let her father-in-law influence any of her children’s names.

“If your FIL wants a baby named after him so badly, he could have given his name to one of his own kids. Your baby, your choice. As long as you and your husband agree on the name, everyone else can mind their own business,” one comment read.

Another commenter, agreed, writing: “Namesakes should be given based on the good and positive merits of the person in question.”

“Your dad sounds like a sweetie pie and I love what he did for you. He sounds lovely. On the other hand, FIL should take his own advice! Why reward him with a namesake for his neurotic and s****y behaviour?”

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