Mother writes empowering list of 'don't's for her daughter

The messages apply for women of all ages, actually

Rachel Hosie
Wednesday 27 September 2017 09:47 BST
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(Getty Images)

Don’t wear too much makeup. Don’t swear or be unladylike. Don’t go out in a short skirt.

Many girls and young women are consistently instructed with things they’re not meant to do.

But one mother has flipped this concept on its head with her empowering list of “don’t”s for her daughter.

Writer Toni Hammer shared an open letter to her daughter on Facebook, with the aim of boosting her daughter’s confidence and sense of self.

In a post that will resonate with women everywhere, Hammer wrote:

“Don’t apologise when someone else bumps into you.

“Don’t say ‘sorry to be such a pain.’ You’re not a pain. You’re a person with thoughts and feelings who deserves respect.

“Don’t make up reasons as to why you can’t go out with a guy you don’t wanna go out with. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. A simple ‘no thanks’ should be acceptable.”

Hammer encourages her daughter not to overthink what she eats and to eat whatever she wants.

She also tells her daughter that she should take control of her appearance.

“Don’t keep your hair long to make someone else happy.

“Don’t wear a dress if you don’t want to.”

And the important messages continue.

“Don’t stay home because you don’t have anyone to go out with. Take yourself out. Have experiences by yourself and for yourself.

“Don’t hold back your tears. Crying means you’re feeling something that needs to get out. It’s not a weakness. It'’ being human.

“Don’t smile because someone told you to.

“Don’t be afraid to laugh at your own jokes.

“Don’t say ‘yes’ to be polite. Say ‘no’ because it’s your life.

“Don’t hide your opinions. Speak up and speak loudly. You should be heard.”

And finally, Hammer tells her daughter not to apologise for being who she is. “Be brave and bold and beautiful. Be unapologetically you.”

The post received a huge response on Facebook, especially after being reposted by Love What Matters.

“Beautiful and so true,” commented one person.

“There’s so many things on this list that I need to be reminded of, but I totally want to print and hang this in my daughter’s room!” added another.

And many people pointed out that, actually, women of all ages could do with following the list.

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