Centrist Dad

Be careful what you wish for on National Sickie Day

Taking a dubious bit of sick leave might seem harmless but Will Gore learned the painful way that honesty is the best policy

Sunday 04 February 2024 06:00 GMT
And the Academy Award goes to...
And the Academy Award goes to... (Getty)

How are you feeling? A little feeble after that long old January? Perhaps you have a bit of a sniffle; not enough to say you’re properly ill, but the sort that leaves you ever so slightly below par.

Normally you might power on through. But wait. This Monday it’s national throw a sickie day, the day in the year when people are statistically most likely to call in with a wan or croaky voice and a sob story about a migraine or a dicky tummy. So, come on, this is your chance to give yourself a break and sack it all off for the next few hours: ring your boss, tell them your piles are playing up, and slide back under the eiderdown. You probably deserve it. And the boss will obviously never guess, will they…?

If you’re a child, of course, it’s a different story. There’s no distant manager to call, no doctor’s note to forge; you simply need to convince the parental units that you’re at death’s door. And a hot flannel or some vigorous eye-rubbing may be enough to get the nod, even if you have to get up for breakfast just to check that you’re really not well enough for a day at school.

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