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Pregnant woman sparks debate after repeatedly asking stranger to give her a seat

‘Need a chair? Bring a chair,’ one person says

Meredith Clark
New York
Wednesday 14 June 2023 03:35 BST
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A pregnant woman has sparked a debate after she repeatedly asked a stranger to give up a seat that they had bought for themselves.

In a viral post shared on the popular Reddit forum r/AmItheA**hole, Reddit user u/Constant_Tune4461 wondered whether they were in the wrong for refusing to give her their seat when they were both waiting in line. “My nephews both graduated from high school this morning and I wanted to sit up front so I camped out a bit in front of the entrance. I brought my folding camping chair and my headphones to listen to my show,” they explained in the viral post.

“About 40 minutes before the school would let us inside, a pregnant woman got next to me since somebody let her in line (I assume her partner),” they said. “She asked me within five minutes (politely admittedly) if she could have my chair as she was going to have trouble standing the whole time.”

The stranger explained to the pregnant woman that they actually need the chair “more” because they have problems standing due to their “bad feet and knees”. Two minutes later, the pregnant woman then asked for a second time if she could use the chair, and their answer was the same.

“She, however, got a little mad at me and said that she was going to be struggling the whole time and asked her partner to tell me,” the Reddit user said. The pregnant woman’s partner then came over to the stranger and asked “politely” if the woman could sit down.

“I again responded that, sorry, but I need it more and suggested she could wait in their car or just sit on the ground,” they wrote. “At this point the husband directly called me an a**hole but left me alone.”

The Redditor’s post instantly went viral with more than 21,000 votes and 3,500 comments since it was shared earlier this week. Surprisingly, many people in the comments sided with the stranger who had brought their own chair, calling the pregnant woman “entitled” to ask for their seat.

Others sympathised with the pregnant woman, though they stressed that she should’ve planned ahead.

“You refused to give up the chair you brought because you needed it due to your own health conditions,” read the top comment. “I do feel for the woman, but she and her partner should have brought their own chairs and not assumed they were entitled to yours.”

“If you’re pregnant and going to wait for over half an hour, come prepared and don’t expect strangers with possible problems of their own to give up their seat,” another person said.

A third user simply wrote: “Need a chair? Bring a chair.”

Meanwhile, some people took the opportunity to share how they would’ve reacted during their own pregnancies.

“I have back problems, plus being pregnant, it just made it worse,” one person said. “I kept a chair in my car in case I needed a seat or a more comfortable seat. I would never expect someone to give up their seat for me.”

“There’s no way that I could have stood that long when I was heavily pregnant (twins, etc.) But, I knew my limitations and would have planned ahead and not expected a stranger to give up [their] seat,” another user wrote. “That’s the real issue here, not how difficult it is to wait in line during pregnancy. Because indeed it can be.”

For most pregnant women, standing for extended periods of time is generally safe. However, standing on their feet for too long can cause an increased chance of miscarriage or preterm delivery, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Standing for long periods can also lead to back and leg pain for pregnant people, reduce blood flow to the fetus, and maybe slow the baby’s growth.

According to Baby Center, women who are required to stand for a long time should find ways to make themselves feel more comfortable – keeping their knees soft, putting space between their legs, and tightening their core to take stress off their knees and feet.

Taking a walk, walking in place, or shifting one foot from the other helps to reduce swelling and keep the blood flow moving, ultimately lowering the risk for developing blood clots. Pregnant women can also prevent pain from standing too long by wearing comfortable shoes or compression socks.

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