Model sparks debate after describing ‘disadvantages’ of ‘pretty privilege’

She says she is ‘f**king tired of being pretty’

A model and business owner has sparked a debate after opening up about the “disadvantages” of “pretty privilege,” and the way her appearance has negatively impacted nearly every aspect of her life.

Emily Adonna, who goes by the username @emilyadonnaa on TikTok, candidly addressed the downsides of being conventionally attractive in a series of videos shared in October. In the first clip, Adonna shared examples of some of the dismissive things that she has been told throughout her career, including that she’s “too pretty to be in the corporate world”.

According to Adonna, her appearance also means she’s not taken seriously, with the model noting that she’s been asked why she doesn’t pursue a career as an influencer instead.

In the caption of the video, Adonna alleged: “‘Pretty privilege’ isn’t always a privilege.” Urban Dictionary defines pretty privilege as “a person who has more opportunities, and becomes more successful in life because of how attractive they are”.

The video sparked mixed reactions from viewers, with one person arguing that looks are “always a privilege”. “Everyone would use it if they could,” they added.

The comment prompted a response from Adonna, who claimed in a follow-up video that, although “pretty privilege is a thing,” it “comes with disadvantages,” and that she is “treated differently” when she goes out in public wearing sweats and a mask versus when she is dressed up.

“Hear me out. Pretty privilege is a thing. I’m not here to deny that, though it comes with disadvantages,” Adonna began the video.

The TikToker then claimed that her looks often lead to harassment, with Adonna claiming she has never had a job where she hasn’t been “harassed,” and that she’s “rarely been in social situations where [she] hasn’t been harassed”.

“People do not usually take no for an answer from me because they think I am something to be possessed,” she alleged. “People do not ask before touching me in public. I am grabbed regularly. I have been assaulted by a stranger.

“And I was once passed on for a business opportunity because they said I was too young and beautiful and they thought that would be distracting for other people in the industry. True story.”

According to Adonna, she is able to recognise the differences in the ways she is treated when she compares her experiences going out in public with makeup on to times when she is not dressed up.

“When I look raggedy, people don’t touch me, they don’t feel entitled to me,” she explained, before concluding: “So, not always a privilege.”

The model’s claims continued to divide viewers in the comments, with some arguing that the situations Adonna described are not specific to women with “pretty privilege”.

“Girls who aren’t pretty by societal standards also get harassed in most social and professional situations,” one person wrote. “It’s not a pretty privilege side effect.”

However, others agreed with Adonna, while sharing their own negative experiences with pretty privilege.

“I fully agree. While not conventionally attractive women can absolutely experience these things too, they don’t experience it to the same degree,” another person wrote, while someone else said: “Yes to all of these things. The more conventionally attractive I became, the harder it became to escape the objectification. I get what you’re saying.”

In another video, Adonna also acknowledged that the way others react to her experiences is also influenced by her appearance, as she claimed that she is often blamed for the way she is treated.

“In so many situations when I’ve shared negative experiences that have happened to me, the response is always like: ‘Well you’re a beautiful woman’ or ‘You’re so pretty, you have to be careful,’” Adonna said. “It’s the idea that because I’m present and I’m pretty, there’s a sense of entitlement to that space.”

According to Adonna, who owns a consulting firm, people also assume that, because she is a model, she wants the attention or should be “used to the attention”.

“There’s gender inequality and then there’s this very specific thing,” she added.

In an additional follow-up video, Adonna admitted that, although she is a “beneficiary of pretty privilege,” she is “f**king tired of being pretty”.

Adonna also claimed that her experience is not unique, as she said she knows “a lot of beautiful women who have suffered from people feeling entitled to possessing them”.

In response to the video, many viewers praised Adonna for speaking openly about the phenomenon of “pretty privilege,” and the downsides associated with it.

“Yup this! People think pretty privilege is just that, a privilege, and in some ways it is. But the reality is that beauty is an invitation for unwanted sexual overtures. I get the sense from the beautiful women I know that beauty is more a burden than anything,” one person wrote.

Another said: “Multiple things can be true. Being pretty has privileges… It also has drawbacks. You get to acknowledge it.”

The Independent has contacted Adonna for comment.