In the popular Subreddit “Am I The A**hole?,” a 28-year-old female, who goes by the username supposed_golddigger, detailed how she comes from quite a large “extended family”. She shared how she has “24 female cousins and 17 male cousins” and that half of them are “already married”.
The woman noted that when her cousin had asked her to be a bridesmaid, she declined the request, as she wanted to “have fun” at the wedding. She also said that when her big day comes, she has no intention of having a “bridal party” or a “bachelorette party”.
“When I attend a wedding I want to have fun, eat food and dance,” she wrote. “In exchange I will get you a gift. I do not want to spend my energy, time and money on your big day. And when I get married, I will not have a bridal party nor will I expect a bachelorette party.”
She went on to explain that her relatives “understood” her perspective and that it “wasn’t even an issue,” due to how “many cousins” are in her family.
However, she said that when her younger sister asked her to be a bridesmaid in her upcoming wedding, she “very gently” declined the request.
She also claimed that her sibling is a “total bridezilla,” who wants a huge bachelorette party and has a few elaborate expectations from her bridal party.
“I told her sorry, but with working full time, being in the final stages of preparing my thesis and teaching some summer classes; that I would not make a good bridesmaid,” she explained. “Also my sister is a total bridezilla. The dresses she is looking at for her party are $450, she expects a weekend bachelorette in Vegas with all the bells and whistles.”
“And wants everyone to attend dance classes to learn this elaborate dance to ‘surprise’ her with,” the Reddit user added. “I do not have the energy for all that ish.”
The original poster [OP] also revealed that once she turned her sister down, she was uninvited to the wedding. According to the Reddit user, the bride told her that because she wasn’t putting in enough “effort,” she didn’t “deserve” to be at the nuptials.
“Now she said I am not invited to her wedding, if I am not willing to put forth the effort to make her day perfect, then I do not deserve to be there. Honestly I don’t care. But my mom and some aunts are calling me an [a**hole],” the post concluded.
As of 19 July, the post has more than 6,248 upvotes, with many readers defending the older sister and criticising the bride.
“Your sister sounds entitled,” one wrote. “You explained why you could not be a bridesmaid because of a busy schedule, the world does not revolve around her wedding.”
“You don’t deserve to be there? Jesus, how full of herself can she be? After a comment like that I wouldn’t go to that wedding if she paid me,” another added.
Other people emphasised how expensive weddings can be and that it was better that OP said no to being in her sister’s bridal party, rather than actually agreeing to it.
“Wedding parties have gotten ridiculous these days,” one wrote. “We’ve gone from a bridal shower to a shower and a bachelorette party, to a bachelorette weekend at an expensive destination…If you know that it’s more effort than you’re willing to put forth, then you’d be an A H if you agreed to be in the wedding party.”
Although a few people understood where the bride was coming from, they still continued to back up her older sister in this situation.
“The idea that weddings are for your fun (I want to eat, dance, etc.) and not about celebrating the married couple is self centred,” another added. “Well weddings and funerals are two sides of the same coin in my opinion in that it’s not about you. That said, your sister is making ridiculous demands of her bridesmaids. Based on that you are NTA [not the a**hole] for turning this one down.”
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