Pity George Osborne, trying to convince the world the UK is 'open for business'

The Chancellor is on his way to Wall Street - he could jet off to New York, Singapore and China for talks with investors over the next few weeks

George Osborne urged closer economic ties with the US in an article in the Wall Street Journal (Getty)

Pity George Osborne. No really. The Chancellor is trying to persuade the world that “Britain is open for business” (his words).

He’s penned a piece for the Wall Street Journal arguing, among other things, that closer economic ties between this country and the US are “in the overwhelming interest of both countries”. He also states that the “UK is not quitting the world” despite giving every impression of wanting to spend the next few decades gazing at its own navel.

It could be said to mark the start of a hastily conceived campaign to limit the brutal economic damage of Brexit, one that will see him jetting off to New York, Singapore and China for talks with investors over the next few weeks.

The trouble is the position he’s in leading up to those talks rather resembles that of an insurance salesman forced to knock on doors on the same day their employer is hit with £1 billion fine for ripping off customers. It’s just that the fine UK plc is already paying for ripping itself off dwarfs anything even the fiercest regulator could conceive of.

That penalty is making itself felt in a number of ways, the most obvious being the crippling uncertainty faced by the UK economy. Fortune favours the brave in business, but investing in this country right now goes beyond courage and into the realms of questionable sanity. The shape of UK plc, how its trade relations might operate, its relationship with the single market (if any)? It’s all up in the air. Then there’s the issue of a currency that makes Bitcoin look like a safe haven.

Which brings us to Theresa May, who will take over in the midst of a crisis without anything resembling a popular mandate, and whose stance on immigration isn’t going to do much to help Mr Osborne make his case.

Immigration is an important component of being “open to the world” and to overseas investment. You can’t have one to the other.

Even if they’re willing to get past the issues I’ve already mentioned, international companies seeking to set up shop in the UK will still want to be sure that they can import the skills they need if they are unavailable here. They also tend to be keen on sending their “home” managers into territories in which they operate.

Ms May has suggested an Australian style points system for would be entrants, which means you can kiss goodbye to the European single market for a start.

That might be a price worth paying for some, and its supporters would argue that those managers I mentioned would presumably get lots of points. Unfortunately the scoring system would be administered by a sclerotic Government department that has become a byword for bureaucratic incompetence down the years.

Yes, I’m talking about Ms May’s old stomping ground, the Home Office. It was during her tenure, remember, that the department dispatched vans around London boroughs warning immigrants to “go home or face arrest”. But hey, advice on documents was available for anyone crazy enough to text “Home” to 78070 was at least available. Perhaps in future you’ll be able to text “Points” to 78070.

Since then, hostility towards immigrants has been ratcheted up by the dog whistles of Brexit campaigners, leading to a rash of horrible incidents. The sort of people who would be at the top of Ms May’s points system tend to have a choice of where they might like to go. Why on earth would chose a United Kingdom where the locals snarl “go back home” to anyone who doesn’t conform to their lumpen idea of a native born Briton?

These are just some of salesman Osborne’s problems. He’s a clever politician, but one does rather wonder if even he believes what he’s trying to entice the world’s investment community to buy.

Still, he might not be doing the job for much longer.

His removal would amount to another self inflicted wound because (although it pains me to say it) Mr Osborne is at least a known quantity globally who carries with him a certain amount of authority and credibility.

Unfortunately, the one thing this country appears to excel at right now is cutting off its nose to spite its economic face.