Football will be death of Scots

SCOTTISH FOOTBALL is a dangerous game - and not just for the players. Fans of the game can end up in hospital, even those who watched Scotland's World Cup efforts from the supposed safety of their armchairs last summer.

According to a report in the Scottish Medical Journal, one man had to be taken to hospital after an acute asthma attack brought on by seeing Scotland lose disastrously to Morocco. Another was treated for self- inflicted deafness caused by shouting too loudly.

One fan was found unconscious dressed in full Scotland strip after apparently overdosing on temazepam, while another needed therapy for psychosis after reporting that the Scottish team were talking to him through the TV screen. Eight other patients were treated for chest pains, two for hyperventilation, three for alcohol-related seizures and one for palpitations.

In total, Edinburgh Royal Infirmary's casualty unit treated 151 patients with football- related problems during the finals, mostly alcohol-related trauma cases involving a fall or a fight.

And the casualties are not restricted to fans: one football widow faked a fit in a desperate attempt to divert her husband's attention from a World Cup game. She was taken to the Royal Infirmary, where the medical notes on her case are succinct: "Attention-seeking behaviour, husband watching the football."