David Cameron's Christmas card has nothing to do with Christmas

Ed Miliband and Nick Clegg also released their Christmas cards today

David Cameron appears to have misunderstood the meaning of festive cheer with his new Christmas card.

Devoid of joy, fun or any traditional festive reference, the Prime Minister’s attempt at Christmas features himself and Samantha Cameron standing in the stately manner of the military, flanked by Chelsea Pensioners – presumably a nod to British pomp. They appear in front of 10 Downing Street, although, irritatingly for the more pernickety among us, not centrally positioned.

To compare, Nick Clegg’s card is more of a success and arguably one of the better things he’s achieved since joining the coalition. He appears in four shots from a photobooth with his lawyer wife Miriam González Durántez, who looks dubiously at him as he gamely wears a Santa hat.

Ed Miliband has gone down a more earnest route. In true Brady Bunch fashion, his card sees him sweetly playing with his two sons, Daniel and Samuel, as barrister wife Justine laughs on. There were no bacon sandwiches involved.

Of course, none of these come close to rivalling the not-so-subtle message of Nigel Farage’s Christmas card, which cheerfully shows him running over the three party leaders in a white van – an unambiguous sneering jibe at Emily Thornberry’s “snobby” tweet, after which she resigned from the Labour shadow cabinet.

And while we’re on the subject, spare a thought for the recipients of Tony Blair’s Christmas card who were faced with his uncomfortable grin, awkward enough to rival Friends character Chandler Bing.

We wait with excitement to see what the ever-cheery Vladimir Putin comes up with.