Diary: Jacko defender hits right note

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Mohamed al-Fayed has little time for his detractors, which is why he invited any Fulham fans outraged by the erection of a Michael Jackson statue outside the club's Craven Cottage stadium to switch their allegiance to arch-rivals Chelsea. And his bullish approach has, it appears, borne fruit: the 78-year-old Fulham chairman and ex-Harrods owner has reportedly been offered a singing role in Man In The Mirror, a musical based on the life of Jackson – known as (among other things) the Cottage's most celebrated visitor.

Meanwhile, speculation mounts that the ever-contrary Mr Fayed could plan further statues to join those of the eccentric King of Pop and club legend Johnny Haynes beside the ground. Might I suggest, given his recent services to journalism, a lifesize (or larger) sculpture of that other famous Fulham fan, Hugh Grant. Club director and Fayed confidant Michael Cole assures me, "There are no plans for further statues." Still, a chap can dream, can't he?

* "Vince is Vince" was the official line from No 10 yesterday, after Vince Cable expressed disquiet about the content of the PM's speech on immigration. This, I note, is the boilerplate response to inconvenient behaviour from a high-ranking politician whose superiors suppose his gaffes can be explained away as an amusing personality trait, rather than genuine dissent. Witness, for instance, the Downing Street-sanctioned claim that "Boris will be Boris", following Boris Johnson's talk of "Kosovo-style social cleansing of London" last year; or "John will be John", the Blair/Campbell explanation for John Prescott's scuffle with an egg-thrower in 2001. Factually correct, perhaps, but this form of words omits a crucial detail: that "Vince", "Boris" and "John" are/were not naughty schoolboys, but the Business Secretary, Mayor of London and Deputy Prime Minister respectively. "Vince is Vince" will have Cable worrying he's never to be taken seriously again. Comfortingly (or not), it also suggests he's unlikely to lose his job.

* Of even greater concern are the implications of the PM's speech for lovers of Asian cuisine. According to Caterer and Hotelkeeper magazine, 20 per cent of Michelin-starred restaurants in London alone serve non-European food, and the ethnic restaurant business is worth £3bn nationwide. But new annual limits introduced last week allow for just 217,000 non-EU skilled workers, and ask chefs to demonstrate the equivalent of a graduate-level job, a grasp of English and a pay level of £28,620. Says Martin Couchman, deputy chief executive of the British Hospitality Association, "as chefs are concerned, with one or two exceptions, you won't be able to bring any in". Enjoy those prawn crackers while you can.

* There could be no easier act to follow as NUS President than poor Aaron Porter, who pulled off the paradoxical feat of being both bland and offensive to swathes of students. Yet his successor Liam Burns had a shaky start yesterday when, in an interview with Radio 4's Today, he appeared to underestimate the mental prowess of potential union members. "If you're a 17-year-old, before you even open a prospectus being told that potentially you'll get into £36,000 of debt, that affects choice," he said. "That's not a rational decision, of course... The idea that you're simply going to make a rational decision, [based on] what's written down on paper, is wrong." The suggestion that those he aspires to represent are incapable of rational thought does, at least, qualify Burns for life in politics, where he'll doubtless join Porter in due course.

* This column's hard-won reputation for factual vagueness has been burnished once again, it seems, thanks to a prevailing ignorance of pre-Premiership football history. In a journalistic fumble worthy of Heurelho Gomes, I yesterday wrote of former FA boss Alan Hardacre [sic] and the role he played in the 1958 Munich air disaster. As reader David Sutton points out, Alan's surname was spelled "Hardaker", and he was the secretary of the Football League, not the FA. The rest of the story was just about accurate (I hope). This error, of course, recalls the cold sweat-inducing horror of the "Gordon Banks" incident, which, with any luck, even my few loyal readers will have forgotten by now – but which remains legendary within at least a few feet of my desk.

highstreetken@independent.co.uk