Trypophobia: ‘Mushrooms, Beanie Babies and Doja Cat - I lived in fear for 30 years’

‘I suffered in silence for the longest time, not knowing that there were other people out there’

(PA Real Life)

A woman who is terrified of lines and holes “suffered in silence” for more than 30 years before speaking about her phobia, afraid people would think that she was a “freak”.

Samantha Harradine has since discovered a whole community of people left nauseous by objects such as honeycomb and mushrooms – including her own daughter.

The 53-year-old is repulsed by a variety of objects – from honeycomb and bell peppers to Beanie Babies and Doja Cat’s red crystal dress at the Paris Fashion Week, all of which make her stomach turn.

The mother-of-three, from Salisbury in Wiltshire, cannot stand the sight of repeated lines or holes because she suffers from trypophobia, an irrational fear of certain clustered patterns.

It took years for Samantha to even tell her husband, Steve, 55, and their daughters – Ellise, 33, Jherelle, 30, and Maddison, 28 – about her condition as she was afraid people would think she was crazy.

But after posting about her phobia online, Samantha discovered there were plenty of people like her, including friends and her own daughter, who had also kept quiet about her fear.

“I suffered in silence for the longest time, not knowing that there were other people out there,” Samantha, who runs her own training company, Tribegeeks Academy, told PA Real Life.

“It’s not like life or death, but it is a big thing in your life when it makes you feel so repulsive.

“I always thought, ‘I’m just a freak’.

“Then of course you realise that it is normal and there are other people out there, so you are not losing your mind.”

The term trypophobia was coined on an internet forum in 2005 to describe an intense and disproportionate fear towards repetitive patterns – but little is known about what causes it, according to the Cleveland Clinic.

“It’s the weirdest thing, because any small cluster of lines or holes, all tightly packed together in a regular or irregular formation – even just talking about it, makes my skin crawl”, said Samantha, who grew up in Stratford, east London.

“The hairs on my arms stand on end and I start feeling queasy.

“It gives me a physical reaction in my stomach, like it turns and makes me feel sick.

“It’s quite repulsive.”

(PA Real Life)

Honeycomb, mushrooms and peppers are some of the biggest culprits when it comes to triggering Samantha’s phobia, which she says her husband Steve still does not understand.

“I can’t even look at that because it’s all so clustery – it’s really weird,” she said.

“Big mushrooms with the lines, I can’t deal with them.

“Peppers, with all the little seeds, I don’t even want to go there but would rather buy them frozen or chopped if I have to.”

It can also manifest from photos, such as when Samantha came across a picture of Doja Cat wearing 30,000 red painted crystals at the Paris fashion week.

“The crystals were all over her and when I saw that, I was just so repulsed,” she said.

“How could you do that to yourself and to have them all over your skin as well.”

Even some children’s toys were off limits as they had too many lines or holes for Samantha’s liking.

“There was a certain type of Beanie Baby, Punkies, that had long strands of hair,” she said.

“They were disgusting because they were just all lines, so I couldn’t let the girls have them.”

Samantha believes her phobia started when she was a little girl and spotted a strange scab on her arm which she feared would spread over her body.

“I had something on my skin which looked almost like snake skin.

“I remember looking at it and being absolutely repulsed by the way it was on my skin.

“That’s the only thing I can think of which actually started it, because it was actually on me, it made me feel really ill having it there and my fear was that it was going to go all over my skin.

“It didn’t – whatever it was, went away.”

She decided it was best not to tell anyone in case they thought she was a “weirdo”.

“I didn’t tell anybody because I thought I was crazy,” Samantha said.

“You just think you’re a weirdo, what’s wrong with me.”

But her fear became increasingly worse as she got older and Samantha began to worry she might be the only person to be afraid of closely-packed lines and holes.

“I had it since the 70s but I had never heard anybody speak about this at all,” she said.

(PA Real Life)

Then around 12 years ago, she mentioned her phobia in a Facebook group and discovered there were others.

“I genuinely thought I was the only one in the world,” she said.

“This lady messaged me and said ‘Oh my word, I’ve got the same thing’.

“It’s like having a tribe of people just like you.

“When you realise that they are out there, you don’t feel so alone.”

Samantha believes genetics could also have a role to play given that her middle daughter shares her deep-rooted fear of patterned lines and holes.

“She’s exactly the same and two of my cousins have it too,” she added.

One theory, according to Samantha, is that it is a defensive mechanism from thousands of years ago, as these patterns are associated with dangerous or venomous animals.

“Now, I always tell people to go online and not only talk about your business, but also those things that make you, you,” she said.

“But nature or nurture, we really don’t know.

“It’s very strange.”

Follow Samantha on Instagram at www.instagram.com/the_tribegeeks/ to find out more about her business.