How to leave the United Kingdom

For those less than thrilled about the prospect of a decade of Tory rule

(Getty)

The nation awakens to five more years of Tory rule this morning, after Labour were decapitated by the SNP in the general election overnight and the Liberal Democrats were left with more tears than MPs.

Here are your options: Respect the flow of democracy and get on with life, don't protest vote next time, actually vote next time, or chuck it all in and move to a warmer country where they won't be trying to privatise oxygen and offer tax breaks for purveyors of parmesan cheese.

"The majority of people emigrating from the UK are emigrating for work" the government's website still states, poorly prepared for the outflux of people who simply can't bear to witness George Osborne's smirk for another 1,825 days.

Before moving or retiring abroad, you must:

• Tell your council
• Notify relevant benefits offices
• Contact the International Pension Centre

Chances are the US probably doesn't want you, but if you're a UK citizen you have the right to live and work in any European Economic Area, which includes Iceland. They have one of the lowest violent crime rates in the world there, Bjork and nice geothermal lagoons.

Poland's economy continues to grow meanwhile, expected to increase by 3.9% in 2016, while another option might be Liberland, a 7km2 stretch of land on the west bank of the Danube river between Serbia and Croatia that just established itself as a sovereign nation with the motto 'To live and let live'.

@christophhooton

General Election 2015 live blog: Ed Balls loses seat as the Conservatives are set to win shock majority