Andy McSmith's Election Diary: Cheer up Nick, a dodgy mic isn't going to be the Lib Dems' worst memory this year

Steve Hilton is focusing on conservation...

Steve Hilton, the special adviser never seen to wear a tie, who was one of David Cameron’s closest political friends and advisers, the architect of his strategy for turning the Conservative Party into the Nice Party by hugging huskies and hoodies and talking Big Society, is not as involved in this election as he might have been. Not only is he based more than 5,000 miles away, in California, but his twitter feed reveals that he spent the first two weeks of this month in Costa Rica. He is keen on preserving its rain forest.

Why nobody should ever Google exposingnigel.uk

A shocking website has come to light. It ridicules Nigel Farage, by inviting you to answer questions about him. Each time you hit the right answer, the image of him changes. Items of clothing disappear, image by image, until you are confronted by a naked Nigel Farage. This is gross. Nobody should look at this sort of thing. Nobody should Google exposingnigel.uk

Poor Ed...

“Ed Miliband is the Kim Kardashian of British politics. He thinks he's amazing - but all anyone can see when they look at him is a giant arse.”

An elegant late night thought that Sarah Vine, journalist wife of the Conservative Chief Whip, Michael Gove, shared with her 12.6 thousand Twitter followers

Labour’s nuclear option for civil war

Labour CND has produced a list of 52 Labour candidates, including a former Cabinet Minister, Andrew Smith, who have gone on the record to declare their undying opposition to the renewal of Trident. This might seem like hard evidence Ed Miliband is going to have to do as the Defence Secretary, Michael Fallon, predicted and stab the UK in the back by doing a deal with the SNP that includes abandoning Trident. However, not all the 52 are going to be elected as Labour MPs. For a start, 11 are running in Scotland, where Labour faces near extermination. Others are in safe Tory seats. There will be a rebellion on the Labour benches if or when the government holds a vote on Trident, which will put Labour loyalists in the uncomfortable position of voting with the Tories to defeat the Labour left, the SNP and others. Some of us might wish a government could be stopped from sinking billions into this useless missile system, but there is little prospect of it happening.

Not the medium, but the message

Nick Clegg has been plagued by what he calls “microphone jinx”. A dodgy mike disrupted live TV coverage of a briefing he was giving at the QE2 Centre on Sunday, and yesterday, another gave out during the Liberal Democrat manifesto launch in the odd setting of a former dairy warehouse in Battersea, causing him to cut short the question and answer sessions. But awkward though these moments are, I don’t think they will be the Lib Dems’ worst memory of the 2015 election. That will be when the results come in.

Ed’s former flame might go cool

I don’t suppose this will help Stephanie Flanders, the city high-flier who publicly expressed her exasperation last week at being outed as an Ed Miliband former squeeze. Interviewed on Woman’s Hour, the Labour leader said he felt sorry for “the people I've been out with in the past who ended up in the papers because I'm a public figure and they are not." I am not sure that applies to Flanders, who was until recently a very well-known BBC journalist. Even if it does, I’d question whether Ed Miliband’s sympathy is what she most wants.

Quote of the day

“Life is a little bit like Kung Fu Panda – there is no magic ingredient.”

Miriam Gonzalez Durantez, wife of Nick Clegg, gets deep and meaningful in Stylist magazine.

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