Sketch: Jeremy Corbyn won't bomb Johnny Foreigner but he's going to drop one on you

The Conservatives continue their rerun of the 2015 election campaign, entirely safe in the knowledge that none of it's true

That Hammond’s government has racked up more debt than any Labour government in history combined smacks rather of hypocrisy… (PA)

Jeremy Corbyn: won’t bomb Johnny Foreigner but he’ll bomb the crap out of you.

That was the key message to be taken away from the Conservatives’ new poster launch, which David Davis and Philip Hammond arrived in a room deep inside the Westminster bubble to stand in front of and say a few words.

"Higher debt. Higher taxes." That’s Jeremy Corbyn’s bombshell, by the way.

From the party that brought you “no-we-won’t-rule-out-putting-up-national-insurance-and-income-tax” now comes "Jeremy Corbyn’s [tax] bombshell for your family."

"Higher debt," from the party that’s borrowed £500bn since 2010. "Higher taxes" – well, see above.

What can you do? Since the 2015 campaign delivered the Conservatives a highly unexpected majority government is more than reason enough to just run it again verbatim – not least as it gives Lynton Crosby an easy life. The fact that not one iota of it has been shown to be true is a problem for another day, some time in 2022.

Right down to the choice of font, this new poster could hardly be more like its 2015 counterpart, that occasionally reappears for no greater reason than to be laughed at. “A recovering economy. Don’t let Labour wreck it”, they said back then, as a “Labour” wrecking ball swings into a brick wall. It’s worth a second look even now, particularly as the EU swings in with a €100bn bill

The Chancellor has spoken many times in the past about the spectre of job automation and the robot economy, and who can blame him, as he sat on his sofa at home somewhere watching on TV as a party aide pressed play on an iPad and the fully automated cyborg that has already taken his own job read out the words “strong and stable leadership” on loop for a very long three minutes.

Hammond 2.0 was unmoved by the sarcastic cheers that greeted his every utterance of the term. The developers are still a little way off when it comes to thoughts and feelings, but it won’t be long. Conveniently, robotically synthesising the full emotional range of the Chancellor of the Exchequer is the very first challenge they are attempting to crack, before moving on to the snake from the old Nokia 3310.

"We are still spending £50bn a year on debt interest," the Chancellor warned, "more than on defence and policing combined."

That it is his government that has racked up that debt more than any Labour government in history combined, and there he was standing in front of a poster saying it is his party and his alone that can be trusted to buy a load of bombs is what, in simpler times, would count for hypocrisy, but those days are gone.

As he spoke I’m prepared to confess my mind wandered. What would it take for them to lose the election? What would the likes of Philip Hammond, David Davis, Theresa May and the rest actually have to do?

Actually start dropping actual bombs on hard-working families? Well there’s a big poster out there now saying Jeremy Corbyn’s going to do exactly that so people will just blame him.

“Who do you want leading these negotiations,” David Davis asked at one point. “Theresa May or Jeremy Corbyn?”

Above that simple fact, nothing anyone else says over the next five weeks will matter in the slightest, as they well know.

We got us into this mess. Only we can get us out. Sticks in the craw, doesn't it. But it works.