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Ruth Davidson mocks fellow Tories: A roundup of all her best jokes

'Labour’s still fumbling with its flies while the Tories are enjoying a post-coital cigarette after withdrawing our massive Johnson'

Caroline Mortimer
Wednesday 13 July 2016 00:21 BST
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Scottish Conservative leader Ruth Davidson brought the house down with a string of risque jokes at fellow politicians' expense
Scottish Conservative leader Ruth Davidson brought the house down with a string of risque jokes at fellow politicians' expense (EPA)

Ruth Davidson has mocked her political rivals and allies alike in a speech which had lobby journalists in stitches.

The Scottish Conservatives leader addressed the press gallery at its regular lobby lunch and took aim at Andrea Leadsom’s leadership campaign and Labour chaos.

Commenting on the speed with which Theresa May has been declared the new Prime Minister following the withdrawal of Ms Leadsom from the race she said: “That’s kind of the difference between our two parties.

“You know, Labour’s still fumbling with its flies while the Tories are enjoying a post-coital cigarette after withdrawing our massive Johnson."

She then joked about her ally Stephen Crabb’s - who she originally backed for the leadership - latest woes, saying: “Sorry that’s not even my speech, that’s just a text from Stephen Crabb....”

The married father-of-two was accused of sex messages to a young Tory party activist on Saturday.

She also mocked many of Ms Leadsom’s mistakes during the campaign such as referring to fictitious past experiences and the Energy Minister’s repeated referral to motherhood.

She said: “Before politics not only was I a BBC journalist, I single handedly saved the British banking system during the Barings collapse, I piloted Apollo 13 back down to earth.

“A little-known fact is that I was the original Misha the bear at the 1980 Moscow Olympics, which is the same year that I won Eurovision, which, speaking as a mother, is a hard thing to do."

Ms Davidson, who became Scotland’s official Leader of the Opposition in May following the party’s resurgence at the Holyrood elections, also said she would not rule out a second EU referendum as the House of Commons prepares to debate the issue.

Over four million signed a petition on the Government’s official website to re-run the election because, it argues, turnout was too low to reflect the wishes of the majority of the British public.

First Minister Nicola Sturgeon has pledged to do everything she can to keep Scotland in the EU and has called for a second referendum on independence following the result.

She said: "The result is testing this country's sense of unity. In Scotland, where people voted overwhelmingly to remain in the EU, the result is testing the binds of the Union as well.

"The honest answer is I don't know what's going to happen - I think [a second referendum] would be highly unlikely."

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