Sketch: 'It's not an establishment stitch-up' says the Establishment as Project Fear launches Scare Force One

In a hangar at Stansted Airport, George Osborne, Ed Balls and Vince Cable all come together to say in one voice that this isn't just the establishment sticking together

George Osborne is joined by former adversaries Ed Balls and Sir Vince Cable, in the Ryanair hangar at Stansted Airport, where he said that 450 jobs and almost £1 billion in investment announced by Ryanair would be "at risk if we left the EU" (PA)

When polling companies periodically ask the public ‘Who do You Trust?’ it always comes down to a tense battle between the Queen, Sir David Attenborough, Ryanair and Ed Balls so it was cunning of the Chancellor to stand in front of one and next to the other to hammer home the message that the Brexit lot cannot be taken seriously.

In front of Ryanair, that is and next to Ed Balls. The Queen was too busy celebrating her ninetieth birthday by pointing at cows on ITV with Ant and Dec. And if John Whittingdale gets his way, Sir David Attenborough will soon be doing exactly the same.

In a spare hangar at Stansted Airport, Project Fear wheeled out its secret weapon. A Ryanair 737, with the “Stronger In” message fully liveried along its side. Scare Force One.

Michael O’Leary was there too, to explain how it’s “the single market” that keeps air fares low across Europe. Well, mainly the single market. Moody scratchcards, 10 kilo carry-on Nazism and threats about charging to go for a wee play their part too.

This was clever politics. Whenever Boris Johnson’s asked why the Bank of England, the International Monetary Fund and every living British Prime Minister and US President all agree the UK should stay in the EU, his answer has always been the same. That all these people “salivate at the thought of Brussels” and “turn left on the plane because of the EU.”

Well Michael O’Leary is not a man who turns left on the plane. Not if he’s on one of his own anyway, unless he’s either planning on flying the thing or in need of the toilet while it’s still complimentary.

On the other side of the Chancellor, by the way, a rare sighting of Nick Clegg, who since the last election it saddens me to report has not aged well.

The Top Gun style entrance, with the three men emerging from under the wing and striding insouciantly towards their lecterns might have worked but Ed Balls, who since losing his seat last year has approached his new cookery career quite literally with relish, appeared to struggle to keep up. “'There is a reason the three of us are standing here today putting aside out very obvious differences. It is not a conspiracy, it is called consensus,' Mr Balls said. At least that's what he said according to the speech drafts that were emailed out afterwards. At the time it was difficult to concentrate on anything other than whether he really had hidden his over-sized hand luggage down his shirt front.

George Osborne laughed at the Brexit lot’s favourite accusation, that the Remain camp is an establishment stitch up. “Mark Carney, Christine Lagarde, Barack Obama, the IMF the OECD - they think they’re all part of some global stitch up to give misinformation to the British people,” he said, smirking his as he did so. What more evidence could you need that it’s not an establishment stitch-up than grandees of Britain’s three main political parties (which they still are, just) all lined up to say the same thing to an audience of political journalists?

You might see Scare Force One in the skies above you over the coming weeks, especially if you live near Stansted airport. Prepare for turbulence, and familiarise yourself with your nearest emergency Brexit. It could be behind you.