'Sofa of despair’': It's the Coalition buzz-phrase generator

Communities Secretary, Eric Pickles (Getty Images)

The Communities Secretary, Eric Pickles, visited Leicester County Hall and expressed his desire to get people who don’t have jobs “off the sofa of despair

It’s not the first ham-fisted buzz-phrase to be put forward by members of the Coalition Government, remember Nick Clegg’s “alarm-clock Britain”? To lend our busy ministers a hand, here’s a cut-out-and-keep tool for creating new, aspirational buzz-phrases.

You are welcome.

Choose a verb

Throw, alight, despatch, reach, lift, raise, tear

Choose a pronoun

Yourself, everybody, us, them

Choose a preposition

On, for, to, of, from + the

Choose an object

Broken, settee, untrimmed, hedge, iffy kettle, B-road, musty attic, plastic bag, slag heap +of

Choose a feeling

Despair, sorrow, hope, joy, aspiration, alienation, unemployment

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Tear yourself from the B-road of alienation