Royal baby: Soreen Malt Loaf, WKD and other brands cashing in on Twitter

Debating unborn children with cake and alcopops

Christopher Hooton
Monday 08 September 2014 14:35 BST
Royal baby! Let's dance to Pitbull and have a bad time!
Royal baby! Let's dance to Pitbull and have a bad time!

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have announced that they are expecting another infant human, the highly anticipated follow-up to baby George who has captivated the world since his birth last year, opening hospitals, dancing the hula and pledging to bore a hole to the centre of the Earth and open a shelter there by 2017.

As ever, brands and businesses couldn't resist shaving a few retweets off the social media-shattering news - let us look over their efforts and collectively sigh for the level of overbearing brand engagement Royal Baby 2 will have to endure when he/she is old enough for a Twitter account:

1. "Uuugggh we sell pizza. But babies don't eat pizza?" "Dave..Dave…they could CALL it pizza." *nods slowly, taps keyboard*

2. John Lewis, official sponsor of all royal offspring, keeping it classy


4. Royal Baby II is barely the size of a raspberry, but has already been linked with a fiery death

5. Number of times Kate has visited Waitrose to buy high quality chorizo – 1 Number of times she has thought about picking up Pampers in Tesco – 0.

6. *Insert joke about it arriving five days late*

7. Why are crowns driving a Nissan Xtrail! Is Salvador Dali in charge of their social media?

8. Aside: Please don't buy your baby Crocs

9. Someone explain to me the correlation between the royal baby and drunk ordering a Texas BBQ Double Decadence pizza at 2am

10. Applicant must have: service weapon, musical tastes no more exotic than Coldplay

11. Pop culture! Let me buy all of the smoothies already!

12. Stop it Innocent! They're already dead!

13. Royal baby...let's get drunk, dance to Pitbull and have a lousy time!

14. Wait, whose baby?

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