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What links falsely 'dead' grandmothers,The Simpsons and beach ball-driven injuries? Well it's our Alternative Premier League Team of the Season of course.
There will be no Luis Suarez or Yaya Toure here, this is an XI of some of the forgotten heroes of the campaign.
Who else remembers that Shane Long was briefly the best player in the world (but only for 10 minutes)?
The season reaches it's finale this Sunday, with free-scoring Manchester City in pole position to secure the title ahead of Liverpool, who they lead by two points going into the final round of matches.
To see the full Alternative XI, click the gallery below...
Show all 11 1 /11Alternative Premier League Team of the Season 2013/14 Alternative Premier League Team of the Season 2013/14 David Marshall (Cardiff) An honourable place goes to the goalkeeper, who has made nearly 150 saves in the league this season for beleaguered Cardiff. He has also conceded 71, mind…
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Alternative Premier League Team of the Season 2013/14 Morgan Amalfitano (WBA) As the old saying goes, the West Brom player is not a “great goal scorer, but a scorer of great goals”. Manchester United and Cardiff will certainly attest.
Alternative Premier League Team of the Season 2013/14 Kolo Toure (Liverpool) As the old saying goes (II), the Liverpool defender is not a “great own-goal scorer, but a scorer of great own goals”. Fulham will certainly attest.
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Alternative Premier League Team of the Season 2013/14 John Terry (Chelsea) Teary, sorry, Terry, has completed 34 Premier League matches this season, more than he has in a season in eight years. He’s also cried a lot, and revealed that The Simpsons is his favourite television program, at the same time the American show announced a deal with the club.
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Alternative Premier League Team of the Season 2013/14 Dan Burn (Fulham) The towering Fulham defender makes the team for easily dealing with a total of 81 crosses from Manchester United in the 2-2 draw at Old Trafford, and then compared the champions to a lowly team from the Conference. He later said that this was not meant as an insult, but to most watching the game it looked like he was giving an accurate description.
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Alternative Premier League Team of the Season 2013/14 Wilfried Zaha (Manchester United) The curious case of Wilfried Zaha. Signed as the "Next Big Thing" by Sir Alex Ferguson for £10m in January 2013 after winning two England caps with Crystal Palace in the Championship. After joining up at Old Trafford from last season’s loan spell at Palace, he made only two appearances under David Moyes before being shipped to Cardiff on loan. He had plenty of time on his hands, then, to fiercely deny an alleged relationship with Moyes' daughter, saying that they had "never even met".
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Alternative Premier League Team of the Season 2013/14 Kevin Nolan (West Ham) Every team needs a bit of fire in the middle…although Nolan took this to another level between 7 December and 1 January, when he was handed two reds cards in the space of four matches. The festive season does do strange things to people.
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Alternative Premier League Team of the Season 2013/14 Kim Kallstrom (Arsenal) He could have been a great loan signing to deputise in the absence of Aaron Ramsey. Then came the shock of the beach ball incident, fingers were waved and three months later he finally made an appearance for the club, 12 days before Ramsey returned, rendering the whole deal pretty much pointless, unless he scores the winner in the FA Cup final...
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Alternative Premier League Team of the Season 2013/14 Stephen Ireland (Stoke City) Now his ‘dead’ grandmother is back on the scene and allegedly talking to his national team assistant coach Roy Keane, Ireland could be back playing for Ireland soon. An integral part of Mark Hughes’ new ball-playing Stoke juggernaut.
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Alternative Premier League Team of the Season 2013/14 Shane Long (WBA/ Hull City) The striker has scored under double figures in all competitions, but he can rest assured that for 10 glorious minutes at The Hawthorns he was nothing short of world class, scoring two magnificent goals in West Brom’s 2-2 draw with local rivals Aston Villa. It all went downhill for the next 80 minutes however.
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Alternative Premier League Team of the Season 2013/14 Samuel Eto'o (Chelsea) 33 or 35, veteran Samuel Eto’o continues to bang them in whatever division he is in. And who didn’t love that ‘old man’ celebration in response to manager Jose Mourinho questioning his real age.
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Do you agree with the team, or have we missed out a few more that deserve recognition? Leave your comments below.
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