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As we enter the second international break of the 2019-20 season the Premier League season is starting to take shape, and while some are sitting serenely near the top, others are blundering their way towards crisis.
Liverpool are busy compiling the beginnings of a perfect season, while Sheffield United are enjoying themselves back in the top flight and have even brought a little tactical ingenuity, too.
At the other end of the scale, Watford became the first club to change manager and skilfully avoiding any new-manager bounce by hiring an old one, while Manchester United are clinging on to theirs despite results, performances and general morale.
The word crisis seems to be bandied about without much forethought these days, so we decided it was appropriate – necessary, even – to rank and rate every Premier League club by the likelihood of falling into deep catastrophe, if they aren’t already there of course.
Please note: The Independent’s crisis score™ is a general view of a club’s current state, taking into account league position, club owners, recruitment success and a raft of other variables too complicated to mention here.
Show all 20 1 /20Premier League shower rankings Premier League shower rankings 20. Liverpool The other day one of their world-class forwards was quite unhappy with one of their other world-class forwards for not being generous enough with their inexhaustible buffet of clear-cut chances. That's it. That's all we've got. The Independent's highly scientific crisis score: 0.2%.
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Premier League shower rankings 19. Sheffield United It's not just that United are happily mid-table, with a fan for a manager and a style of play that's genuinely unique. It's that they've come up and looked every bit the Premier League team, resilient in the games they've won and competitive in the games they've lost. And, of course, they play with overlapping centre-backs, a surefire sign that you're either so deep in crisis you've lost your mind, or in such a good place you can afford to give Chris Basham a free role. Crisis score: 1%.
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Premier League shower rankings 18. Leicester City Only Manchester City and Liverpool have won more points than Leicester since Brendan Rodgers took charge in February. They look a serious threat to the top six, and seem to have absorbed the sale of Harry Maguire impressively with Lord Farquaad every bit his replacement. Crisis score: 3%.
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Premier League shower rankings 17. Manchester City City are plunged deep in crisis, obviously, in the TalkSport definition of the word, having slipped up three times already this season, while they have an injury crisis, especially at centre-half. But in actual, real world terms, they are still the slickest operation in football with the best manager around, as well as back-to-back Premier League titles and a points record all in recent memory. Crisis score: 4%.
EPA
Premier League shower rankings 16. Crystal Palace Palace were in crisis before the season had even begun, widely tipped to sack Roy Hodgson before the clocks go back and to be relegated before they go forwards again. Aaron Wan-Bissaka had left, Wilfred Zaha wanted to leave, and just it felt like the end of this particular chapter. Instead they bounce into the international break sixth and already with a third of the points they will need to stay up. Everything's relative. Crisis score: 8%.
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Premier League shower rankings 15. Burnley Burnley continue to do their highly effective thing, only this time without the burden of the Europa League around their necks. This has been kindly passed on to Wolves. Crisis score: 12%.
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Premier League shower rankings 14. Wolves Wolves continue to do their highly effective thing, only this time with the burden of the Europa League around their necks. Kindly received. Crisis score: 12%.
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Premier League shower rankings 13. Bournemouth Bournemouth have established themselves in the Premier League's centre ground so impressively that they are probably the only side with absolutely no chance of finishing in the top six or the bottom three. This in itself could soon mould into a crisis of identity if they're not careful, the sort that sent Stoke and West Brom into oblivion, but Eddie Howe has so far not let standards slip. Crisis score: 15%.
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Premier League shower rankings 12. Aston Villa Having put a three-year stay in the Championship behind them, and financial difficulties apparently in the past too, these are good times at Villa. Now they're up – with a local captain, a well-respected manager and big Brazilian goalscorer finding the net – they have a real chance of staying there. Crisis score: 17%.
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Premier League shower rankings 11. Brighton and Hove Albion Graham Potter is going well at Brighton, and perhaps the only fear at the Amex is that he goes too well, alerting the likes of Everton and even Tottenham come the end of the year. Crisis score: 19%.
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Premier League shower rankings 10. Chelsea It turns out contravening Fifa's rules on the transfer of foreign minors was not in fact a grievous misdemeanour but a blessing in disguise, forcing Frank Lampard to trust the kids, with heartwarming results. Even so, it should be noted that Chelsea cannot sign anyone until next summer and their owner has pulled the plug on a new stadium. Still, Eden who? Crisis score: 22%.
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Premier League shower rankings 9. Arsenal The current Arsenal phenomenon is best explained by Jonathan Liew in his recent column on the subject, but it can accurately be described as a will to scrap out results from the most dire circumstances that is so un-Arsenal-like they are almost unrecognisable. Even their walking crisis, David Luiz, scored on the weekend. Crisis score: 22%.
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Premier League shower rankings 8. Norwich Despite coming up by winning the Championship, and despite the excellent start to the season made by Teemu Pukki and co, the thrashing by Aston Villa reminded us that this is a team that haven't really had to defend for about two years and don't really know how. Daniel Farke had the face of a man with all the knowledge and none of the tools to solve that particular problem. Crisis score: 23%.
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Premier League shower rankings 7. West Ham A club perpetually on the verge of crisis who are quietly having a very good season so far with the makings of a genuinely potent front three in that Yarmolenko-Haller-Anderson triumvirate. It could all fall down at any moment of course, but things looks suspiciously stable. Crisis score: 29%.
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Premier League shower rankings 6. Southampton Saints have made a slow start to the season and there is a feeling that Ralph Hasenhuttl's galvanising effect might have worn off. The knack of unearthing foreign gems to complement the talent falling off their production line has escaped Southampton in recent transfer windows, and it feels like a tough season looms. Crisis score: 37%
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Premier League shower rankings 5. Tottenham Mauricio Pochettino's time at the club seems to be reaching its natural end point, which is concerning enough, but the fact that it also seems to be the end for a raft of key players means Spurs are in need of a major overhaul. Playing NFL in a shiny new stadium cannot hide this. Crisis score: 53%.
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Premier League shower rankings 4. Everton Marco Silva's side seem wedged in a rut. Four defeats in a row leaves Everton in the relegation zone during the international break and perhaps most concerning is that clubs like Sheffield United, Bournemouth and Burnley all found them so easy to beat. There has been plenty of money spent over the past couple of seasons so it is hard to see how the problem gets solved without a wholesale change of direction. Crisis score: 56%.
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Premier League shower rankings 3. Watford We hesitate to condemn Watford, who have a happy knack of resurrection and will simply churn through managers until one's arrival bounces them back up the league, but things have felt stale for a while now, going back to April when their slump began. Javi Gracia has gone, Quique Sanchez Flores is struggling to make much of an impact, and a goal difference of -16 from eight games is alarming. Crisis score: 65%.
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Premier League shower rankings 2. Newcastle For all the optimism of the Longstaff brothers and the scalp of the club formerly known as Manchester United, Newcastle fans are unlikely to be fooled into thinking the glory days are just around the corner. A relegation scrap is imminent, and it will be an even harder slog than usual without Rafa Benitez. Meanwhile, Mike Ashley continues to lurk in the background like Dominic Cummings in a suit. Crisis score: 73%.
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Premier League shower rankings 1. Manchester United The last time Manchester United made a genuinely successful transfer was David de Gea in 2011. The last time Manchester United appointed a genuinely successful manager was Sir Alex Ferguson in 1986. Current odds are shorter on relegation than the title. It is a club wandering directionless towards another decade of mediocrity, the kind Liverpool endured for so long, and it will take an overhaul across the board to fix. Although as Gary Neville points out, Axel Tuanzebe looks all right. Crisis score: 92%.
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Take a look through our gallery to see how we rated every Premier League team.
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