Outside Edge: Marital art till death us do part

By Andrew Tong

Sunday 23 October 2011 06:49

With a population of 1.3 billion, Chinese women can be choosy when it comes to finding a husband. But the sisters Xiao Lin and Yin from Foshan are insisting that prospective suitors have to fight them in kung fu combat before they are allowed to propose.

They must first impress at archery and carrying weights over sharpened bamboo spears. Then, according to Lin, 22, "they can choose open-hand combat or any weapon they wish. But we won't be holding back. If they can't beat us, they aren't worthy". Yin, 21, said: "We tried dating agencies but the men we met were all too weak. So we went back to the ancient ways, called bi wu shao qin, which was how warrior princesses would find their men." One further drawback is the girls will be masked until they make their choices. Then you see all the scars. This week a female humpback whale set a record for the longest distance travelled by a mammal, 6,125 miles, in order to find a mate. Some guys have all the luck. But just wait till she gets the hump.


The average number of steps taken each day by Western Australian adults, according to the University of Tennessee. Of the four countries monitored, the Swiss were close behind on 9,650 and Japan third on 7,168. Americans were well off the pace on 5,117. They should take the hot dog for a walk.

Saucy saga as NFL plays catch-up

More murky goings-on in American football where Minnesota Vikings quarter-back Brett Favre is being investigated by the NFL for allegedly sending lewd texts and pictures of his private parts to former New York Jets game hostess Jenn Sterger in 2008. It's being seen as a test case of the sport's attitude to women. Now two lesbian Baltimore Ravens fans, Mary Kate Morris and Nicole Marchetto, have accused the club's stewards of ejecting them from a game because they were kissing in a queue for half-time refreshments – though the club says they stole a plastic cup that they used to carry ketchup. Meanwhile transgender golfer Lana Lawless, 57, who was born male, is suing the LPGA for not allowing her to play in tournaments after they changed the rules to ban those who weren't "female at birth". Calls of "in the hole" just confuse the issue.

Good week

Adam Holland, of Tavistock in Devon, became the youngest person to run 100 marathons at the age of 23 when he completed a race at the Eden Project – the previous record was held by fellow Briton Steve Edwards, who was 28. The History Maker Foundation, organisers of the world's biggest-ever piggy-back race in Colchester, Essex, with 148 pairs competing on the 100m course. Felipe Alvarez, football fan has his torso and arms tattooed with the Atletico Nacional shirt of Colombian player Andres Escobar, who was murdered after the 1994 World Cup.

Bad week

Sapolai Yao, the 4ft 11in Papua New Guinean distance runner, was disqualified from the 3,000m steeplechase final at the Commonwealth Games in Delhi for using a pot plant to help him get over the water jump. Policemen in the Philippines have been banned from playing golf during office hours by their director general Raul Bacalzo in order to revive the force's reputation after a bungled hostage rescue attempt. Mickey Mantle, legendary New York Yankees baseballer, allegedly appears naked on the HotPrisonPals.com website 15 years after his death.

Not so fast, Mr Bond? Live and let fly

If you're a cyclist and you're fed up with bumpy roads, thieves, cars getting too close and icy conditions, ilovemybike.co.uk has all the answers. Their BOND bike has a flame-thrower in its handlebars to blast motorists if they overtake too close; it also has a caterpillar track attached to the back wheel and a ski option to replace the front wheel for difficult road conditions; and an ejector seat to dispose of robbers. If you're getting old and hate all those kids on their bikes and rollerblades and skateboards, help is also at hand. Colin Furze of Stamford in Lincolnshire has built a mobility scooter that can do 69mph (instead of its usual 8mph) with a 125cc motorbike engine, five gears and a twin exhaust. But it does do a pension-busting 10 miles to the gallon. But kids can still rule the road on the world's biggest skateboard. Designed in California, it's 36ft 7in long, 8ft wide and 3ft 7in high, weighs 260st and boasts car racing tyres. As long as you're tall enough to get on it.

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